Whoaa !! Its almost 2010 !!

Hey guys and gals,

New year is at the doorstep. It knocks in any moment. So, its time, before we open the door, to make some promises to ourselves.

Although, my side of the story is always the same and even this year is no exception as i stick by my principle of 'No Resolutions'.

But, to add to this one, my co-blogger Garima and I have made a common resolution. We have decided to rectify one mistake of ours and make this blog what it is meant for - CRAP!!

Well, as we promised in our inaugural post that this blog is going to be fun and full of shit (to be read as :: crap, as it appears in English movie subtitles, although they speak 'shit'), but due to some unexplainable and some really silly reasons, this couldn't happen. Its difficult to think funny in intense moments. Anyways some smart person has found out a way for us by saying 'Promises are meant to be broken....' ;) lolzzz!!

Jokes apart, on a serious note (seriously serious), we will now make efforts to keep up with our promise. Enough of rule breaking.

Hopefully, all our resolutions materialize this year and if not then well we have another new year coming up too!! Tension nahi lene ka monaco khaneka!!

Lastly, I wish all of us a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Keep crapping!!

The end before the beginning

Dear readers,

I would just act responsible by declaring that this is my last post… That, I will never again go through this journey, willingly or unwillingly, and the reason being that TIME is UNIDIRECTIONAL. So even if I wish to I won’t be able to live these moments again.

Any which ways, poet T.S. Eliot famously wrote---
‘For last year’s words belong to last year’s language…
And next year’s words await another voice’

Ohhh!! I guess I didn’t complete my 1st sentence: It was ----
I would just act responsible by declaring that this is my last post… for the year 2009.
What did you guys think??

Anyways, moving on… thanks to all the readers for your support via comments. I would like to add, as Ankit says ‘Criticism is always welcome’ I request you all to continue to help us keep up and improve.

Also, this last year must’ve been an eventful one for all of us. We all saw highs and lows (together and individually). Let’s keep the good and forget the bad that happened to us.

As Brooks Atkinson has penned down---
‘Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go’

Let us all welcome 2010 with open arms. May the light of new year bring all of us happiness and goodwill.

With this I wrap up for this year wishing all of us:

P.S.: Enjoy the celebration but please be safe.

Jingle all the way!!

Hola guys n gals...its Christmas time!! CHEERS!!

It’s that time of the year when the streets will have red in every corner, a Santa cap on every head and the echo of the famous cheer… HO HO HO!!! It’s the day when the homes will see decorated Christmas trees and a holly leaf at its door! Yes it is also the time when we have chocolates, ice-creams, pastries, etc. stored in our refrigerators.

I just thought to take the privilege of sharing what underlines this celebration. Jesus Christ was born on 25th December and he was believed to be the son of god. His birth is celebrated because he came to make this place worth living in and rested his breath for the cause.

By the way, Christmas is also one of the most awaited days of the year for the 2 reasons:
1) It marks the beginning of the countdown for the New Year.
2) Gifts, Christmas carols, parties and all a chance or say an excuse to start afresh with everything.

Well, yes gifts and Christmas carols are my favorite parts of the season and I do believe in Santa Claus (The Father of Christmas) and that he is present in all of us. So here is a request to all the readers- Please share with us what is that one gift you would want to ask from Santa Claus and also one gift that you would want to gift to me, Garima Ranawat and one to my co-author Ankit B. Rathod.

The time has come to spread smiles across the city, nation, globe…till wherever we can reach.

Wishing you all a MERRY XMAS and loads of love, luck and smiles!!

HAPPY and GAY !!

Sorry for being late in posting new crap here on Crapologists. Its all because both of us crapologists - me and Garima - were quite busy with our lives. Garima was busy with stuffs as usual - journal writings, college, etc - and also her Farewell. Garima-ji, Farewell toh ab ho gaya, we expect a post from you SOOOOOON !!! And I was busy with work, office, factory, being home alone, college and a skit !

Yes, a skit. Although, I'm not an avid participant in social and cultural activities, I participated in the skit 'coz of a friend. He was going to participate, but couldn't due to some health problems. He's still recuperating. This is when I jumped into the bandwagon !

Here are two videos of the act. The quality isn't that good, but it isn't that bad either.

The audience cheered us. We rocked the stage full on ! The audience gave us a standing ovation ! Yet, we lost the top position to another act, which was adjudged 'the best' only on the basis of their concept. No doubt their concept was good, but they had no dance ! But judges ko kaun samjhaaye??? Khair, jo hota hai achhe ke liye hi hota hai.... Such is life !

Mohabbat

मिला वो भी नहीं करते, मिला हम भी नहीं करते,
बेवफाई वो भी नहीं करते, बेवफाई हम भी नहीं करते.


उन्हें रुसवाई का दुख है, हमें तनहाई का दुख है,
गिला वो भी नहीं करते, गिला हम भी नहीं करते.


गली के किसी मोड़ पर अकसर सामना हो जाता है,
रुका वो भी नहीं करते, रुका हम भी नहीं करते.


उन्हें जब देखते हैं, सोचते हैं कुछ कहें उन से,
सुना वो भी नहीं करते, कहा हम भी नहीं करते.


हमें वो देखते हैं, उन्हें हम देखते हैं,
रहा वो भी नहीं करते, रहा हम भी नहीं करते.


कोई ये बताए हमें, कैसी ये अनोखी मोहब्बत है,
इनकार वो भी नहीं करते, इज़हार हम भी नहीं करते.

Thirty-three idiots + 1

Living life in bits and parts… sharing… saving and spending… and a lot more than this account for the experiences that one gets in a place where one is on his own, and yet he/she knows that he/she will be taken care of. Yes. I am talking about the college life, and Degree College, to be specific.

I am a TYBSc Biotechnology student. Life for me meant 7 hours at college and the rest at home struggling to keep up with everything else that mattered… parents, health, household, friends, society, etc. In the wake of making a place for myself in the corporate world I thought I was missing a lot. I envied my pals from other faculties, thought they had fun while we were screwing up our asses in the labs looking for micro organisms under the microscope and figuring out their morphology. The guys in my class comment:

“Ma’am there are other living beings on this planet and studying their morphology would be of incomparable interests!”

I don’t really think I need to explain this one.

Well in complete contrast to my first paragraph are the experiences that I have had in my 3 years of Degree College. No doubt we as science students had a tough regular schedule but no one could have enjoyed as much as we did while learning.
In these three years I have grown up with the company of 33 others (my batch mates) like me. We learnt to hate, we learnt to love, and we learnt the meaning of second chances and also the meaning of forgiving endlessly. In spite of all our differences together we gave birth to ‘KAOS- Nature is restless’ the festival of our department , in our 2nd year i.e. in 2008 and also 'KAOS'09-Nature is restless' in 2009 on a larger scale. The making of this fest was a life time experience. We celebrated all festivals in college. Our biotech lab was our party place. We would get cakes, sweets, snacks, balloons; decide a dress code for our department. The teachers always supported our little effort to create a better bond between students and teachers.

The only thing that I will miss after my Ty is my class. We being the batch with the least strength (34) have made our mark in our college. Our unity impressed all and made things work in our favor most of the times. Our head of the department Dr. Aparna Deshmukh termed us as the best batch the college has ever seen. She admires the unity our batch shows under any circumstances then may it be mass bunking or asking for an IV(industrial visit) or may be while organizing a fest or protesting against unfair rules of the college. We have faced the criticism when we were called a bunch arrogant and head strong people. Yes, we are like any other group who has heroes and villains. We love and hate at the same time.

Today as we are coming to the end of the last academic year of Degree College I feel butterflies in my stomach. I feel as if there is a hole in my heart. I am scared to see the end of this wonderful journey with all its good and bad. I will miss loving those friends who have made tough times easier and will miss hating those who made tough times worse. I will miss the days when the Prof. would catch me studying for the next days test or playing antakshari on paper. Those days when together we cursed all other beings on earth; those days when we laughed at even the worst of PJs; those nick names assigned to a few people; those days when we fought as if one will kill another; those days when we cried over foolish issues; those days when I and my friends would chat via SMSes during the lectures; those games of truth and dare and all those stupid dares that we gave and the game of dumb charades with all weird movie names; and a lot more to add to the list.

All in all I am proud of the 3 years that I have spent in company of 33 other idiots like me.
CHEERS!!! To all that we have had and all that is yet to come in the last few days!!

Dec 6 - a day to be remembered !

December 6, that's today. Its a day to be remembered, for some bad things, and for some good.

Cut to December 6, 1992.

Ayodhya. Uttar Pradesh. India.

"Raam Lala aayenge... Mandir wahin banayenge !"

Around 1.5 lakh Kar Sevaks gathered with this slogan in what was supposed to be a political meeting. The Babri Mosque was demolished by a large group of Hindus, who had been camped out at the site for weeks. Members of the Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP) were part of this large group. The VHP wanted to erect a temple dedicated to Rama at this spot. Many Muslim organizations, on the other hand strongly oppose the building of the temple.

Seventeen years later, the Liberhan Commission, one of the longest running enquiry commission with 48 extensions, submitted a report with no strong conclusions and no recommendations of a strong punitive action against anybody. The commission was to submit its report in three-months' time. But 17 years and 48 extensions later, the result was null.

Most of the Kar Sevaks have become old or are in the mid-ages. They are not as active as they were 17 years ago. And most of the people in young generation don't care about the issue anymore. They don't care even if there's a temple or not. They don't care even if there's a mosque at that place or not.

In fact, basically India does not need a temple or a mosque. Look at the grim situation of education in the country. Why not build up a nice educational institution at that place? I'm sure Lord Rama and Allah (and Mr Babar) won't mind to this idea. They won't have any hard feelings if the people of Ayodhya get good education. Its upto us now to take the decision. Do we still want to fight over the issue and guzzle millions of our hard earned money or do we want a good future?

Back to December 6, 2009.

Brabourne Stadium. Mumbai. Maharashtra. India.

"Jeetega bhai jeetega... India jeetega !"

The slogan has changed. India on the verge of becoming number one in test cricket. At the beginning of the fifth day's play Sri Lanka were trailing by 59 runs in their second innings. And India were just four wickets away from creating a history.

And Zaheer Khan struck. Three wickets in the first twenty minutes. And in the next ten minutes, Harbhajan Singh claimed the final wicket, thus making India numero uno in test rankings.

 This match, filled with ecstatic performances by Virender Sehwag (293 off 254), Zaheer Khan (5/72 in second innings), Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman, Sachin Tendulkar and he entire team, will be overshadowing the Babri issue, at least this year.

This was something good that happened on Dec 6. And I hope, every year something like this happens, so that people don't remember December 6 as the saddest day in Indian history !

Amen.

Marwaris = Smart !

While surfing through some random blogs, I came across this story of a Marwari salesman. I, being a Marwari myself, couldn't refrain myself from reading it. I loved it sooooo much. Read it and know how good Marwaris are at business !

A keen immigrant Indian lad applied for a salesman’s job at London’s premier downtown departmental store. In fact, it was the biggest store in the world – you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes sir, I was a salesman in Rajasthan in India", replied the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said,

"You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and see you."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked,

"How many sales did you make today?"

"Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman.

"Only one sale?" blurted the boss.

"No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you’d better be doing better than just one sale. By the way how much was the sale worth?"

"Three hundred thousand three hundred and thirty four pounds", said the young Marwari.

"What? How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he’d be needing a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer. I then asked him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we’re at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"

"No." answered the salesman, "He came in to buy a box of sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Your weekend is screwed anyway; you might as well go fishing."

So, this is what being Marwari is... I'm proud to be a Marwari ! Kasam se....

I love Winter !

Winter's here. I love the season, although many of those I know don't. If I had the control of the seasons, I'd reserve 8 months for winter, 3 months for monsoon, and just one for summer. But alas ! its just a wish and I don't have any control over it. Someone called the weather god had been controlling it for quite sometime, but now he's handed over the charge to "Global Warming".

Jokes apart, I've tried to jot down the top 11 reasons why I love this season (Actually I made a list of 10 reasons, but I couldn't afford to miss the 11th one by any chance) :

1. Being a Marwari, food has to be one of the main reason to have a love or hate relationship with someone. This rule is applicable in some cases of "something" too. I love the food that's available only in this season, especially Haldi ki sabzi, and that too in a cold winter night !! (Ahhhh.... muh mein paani aa raha hai??? lolz) To those who have tasted it, miss it.... And to those who havent, you're already very late, and you've missed a lot !!
2. The protective gear - sweaters, pullovers, jackets, etc. They help me look a li'l healthier than I actually am. Another advantage of the jackets and pullovers is that you don't need a change of clothes that often. I mean I can attend a less important wedding reception or a party with just a change of a pullover. ;)
3. The early morning sun and the fog !
4. Urad ki dal ke laddus.
5. Early sunsets, comparatively late sunrises. In short, SHORTER days and longer nights :)
6. Garma garam cups of chai (tea) and coffee.
7. Catching a friend in a monkey cap. He/she is gonna be the butt of jokes for the rest of the day or at least until we catch another bakra (or should I say monkey?)
8. Although I hate sweets (mithaai suits better), I love Suttar Feeni, a mithaai entirely made up of milk, ghee, and of course sugar. I'm sorry I can't explain how it looks or how it tastes, but its yummmm....  (I've always maintained that being a Marwari has its own advantages...)
9. Sitting by the fire (this doesn't happen much, still I love it whenever it happens)
10. Its party season - Christmas, New Year and the likes.
11. And yes, last but not the least, eating ice cream when its chilling cold. Its like sardi ko thenga dikhana.

So lemme know what do you love about winter... and of course, there are haters for everything that's loved... so tell me what you hate then????

Live-in Relationships vs Marriage - Your Take

Hey folks ! Hiiii.....

Helping someone doesn't fall in the category of crap. Still, I love to help. Not that I'm giving away my tag of a 'Crapologist', its just that helping someone makes me feel good.

A friend Manali wanted my help in her research study. She wanted a few responses to a short-n-sweet questionnaire. Five questions - all yes/no types. They won't take more than five minutes. All you guys have to do is just leave your answers alongwith your Name (optional), Age (mandatory), Sex (mandatory), Location (mandatory, you may not be specific; but be general) in the form of a comment. The topic of her research is "LIVE –IN RELATIONSHIPS v/s MARRIAGE"

Link:’’http://lifestyle.indianetzone.com/relationship/1/live-in_relationships.html

Questionnaire for the research study 

1. Do u think that live-in relationships are preferred over marriage?
a) Yes
b) No 

2. Are live-in relationships proved to be successful than marriage?
a) Yes
b) No  

3. Do you think that Live-in relationships should be made legal supporting an agreement so that no one can cheat?
a) Yes
b) No 

4. Do u believe in old traditional form of marriage rather than the modern concept of live-in relationship?
a) Yes
b) No 

5. Do u think that live-in relationship is like a traditional marriage with no cohabitation and no sex before marriage?
a) Yes
b) No

That's it !! Thanks for helping !

Mumbai 26/11 - Bhoole Nahi Hum....

Extraordinary circumstances evoke extreme reactions and therefore need to be handled with extreme caution. The Mumbai terror strike brought death, devastation and shame. The vultures who wrote the script had planned it like this. What more could they have expected. They got round the clock television coverage as they held a nation of a billion plus population to ransom. And even though everything went according to their script what they failed to calculate was the enormous, once in a life time, kind of opportunity that they presented to the mighty Indian nation.

History is replete with examples. Opportunity travels alongside death and devastation. Japan was able to grab it because the death and devastation caused by the nuclear strikes on Hiroshima and Nagasaki were wrapped in shame. America's 9/11 also had shame written all over. And now if those who planned the terror strikes in India are not taken care of once and for all the opportunity that has come alongside the Mumbai shame would also be lost for good.

Of what good is the nuclear deterrent if we can be bled like this. Has the weapon of peace been good to us in any way? Peace sells, but who's buying it? The lives of those who are still lucky to be alive are in no way more important than those who have laid down their lives. Let not a single drop of Indian blood go waste. Those who are coming out on to the streets be ware, it is no candle light party out there. Everything comes for a cost and the cost has to be borne by everyone.

Let's not look up for any kind of action to the Singh who became king by buying votes in parliament. Nor from the BJP that abused the ATS chief a day before his death and later turned up at his residence to offer a compensation of Rs One Crore to his family. Nor the communists for whom shame is a decent word. Only a rabid dog could have said this: not a dog would have visited the Unnikrishnans' house had it not been the slain Major's house. Where and when in history has a martyr's father been treated like this? What could be more shameful than this?

The solution is lying somewhere around in the dark. We needed to act, and we needed to act fast. But we didn't. Who's responsible for this cowardly act? All eyes on Pakistan. All fingers point to Pakistan. We even had the proofs. But we couldn't do anything. We handed a number of dossiers to the neighbor, but no stern action taken till date.

Mr Manmohan Singh, a year is too much. For you, it might be just one-fifth (just twenty per cent) of your term, but to the families of the martyrs and deceased, each day passed as a year. And you didn't care. Only monetary compensation and showing sympathy is not the solution. The solution lies in curbing terror from the root.

Yes !! I feel shame when I have to accept that we have failed. I don't know what others feel. I don't know if Mr Manmohan Singh feels the shame or not, but I do. 'Coz we failed. We failed to provide security not only to our people, but also to foreign nationals. We failed to act against the perpetrators. We are merely watching the tamaasha unfold in Pakistan. We are helpless. We lack the spirit. We shouldn't have moved on with this until any strong action had been taken. But we moved on. India lacks leadership. India lacks courage.

I feel shame when I see the President of India having a gala time flying a Sukhoi, but she has no time to come down to Mumbai on the first anniversary of the deadly massacre. I feel shame when I see pics of the Prime Minister partying in the USA when people are paying homage to the martyrs and the deceased. It happens only in India !!

If India is crying for leadership, this crisis had the potential to throw up one. Only raising slogans against the government and the politicians is not enough. A few of us should have raised from the rubble to become leaders. But we chose to remain silent and protest. Candle light vigils can just add CO2 to the already polluted environment. Let there be no peace till the perpetrators of the Mumbai Mayhem are smoked out of their safe holes.

JAI HIND !!! JAI JAWAAN !!! 

May the souls of the martyrs and the deceased rest in peace....

Amen.

I meet Me

I met this guy who had the biggest smile on his face and I never understood why. His life seemed so perfect to the outside world.

One day I asked him "Why do you always have a smile on your face? You just seem so happy and you have such a perfect life."

He laughed and then simply responded, "Is that what everyone sees? Well this smile is not real. I paint this on every morning and wash it off when I am alone. I have little to be happy about. I mean things in my life are greater than what it used to be but I still feel void inside."

"Wow. I never knew", was all I could say.

He said, "Of course you didn't. People just think that my life is so perfect and everything. That it's not and it's not. Most days I struggle just to get out of bed. Most days I ask God why am I here."

I woke up and realized that I was the guy being asked these questions in my dream. I am the guy that feels this way....

PS : This was a piece of thought written by me a few days ago, just to flush out my frustration / depression / anger / whatever.... But, sadly, its true.

A kiss forever!! -Part 3 of 3

PART 3 OF 3

The Truth...

He answered in his sweet musical voice...

“Nothing went wrong. I wanted to go away from there. I wanted to change my life. I was missing an important part of my life.”
I felt a hard pinch and my stomach churned.
“It isn’t convincing enough…” I muttered, “Still, who is the bride?” I asked.
He smirked and then laughed and he didn’t laugh alone. Only then did I notice that all our friends were present there. What cheaters I thought. I waited as he was about to answer. I wanted to know what was so funny.

“The bride is YOU!!”
I was shocked… I felt weak at knees… I stumbled and he took me in his arms.
“I missed you… I wanted to stay with you… every morning when I wake up, the first thing I want to do is see you…”
“But you said you didn’t want to be there anymore?” I interrupted.
He answered with a warm smile.
“Yes I didn’t want to be there in that place anymore. I wanted to come here and get married to you. You wanted it here right?”
I was starting to believe it. I finally gained balance and hugged him hard. I cursed him for putting me through all that.
I realized that I was dressed in rags compared to all others who looked like movie stars. He probably read my expression and said, “Don’t worry; we have a change for you. Everything is ready. You just have to go and come back and be mine forever.”
Those of whom I thought as cheaters and had sided with him were the ones who had help arrange all this. I was taken to the hotel room where a hair-dresser, a make-up artist and my stylist were all ready to work on me. I pitied the hair dresser as my hair were bad than the worst, they required a lot of mending. My face was still better. With just a scrub and a cleanser I looked reasonably fresh.
I took a hot water bath and then sat on the recliner and rested my head on the pillow. I slept while the three ladies played their role to make me look special for the most special day in my life… for the most special person of my life. I had something to eat while the hair dresser still tried to straighten the strands.
When all was done I dressed in my white satin wedding gown and with flowers in my hand I entered the hall. My best friend was my best man today who escorted me through the aisle. The priest chanted the usual and announced us wedded which was to be followed by a kiss which would seal the relationship and before our lips could meet he whispered in my ear…
“It’s the day when you are dressed like an angel… today you look the most beautiful, alluring all the words which describe the beauty of a woman. I want to kiss you till the end of life.”

A kiss forever- Part 2 of 3

PART 2 OF 3

The Big Blow

I dialed his number for the umpteenth time and...
“Hello?” came his sweet voice finally. I somehow managed a faint greeting which I could not hear but I was positive he recognized me. After 5 years of togetherness he could not have not recognized me. I asked him where he was and what was all this about but I did not get a reply. It was only then that I realized that all these questions were in my head and I needed to find my voice. I asked and then remained stunned when he said that he was getting married in St. Paul’s church tomorrow. St. Paul’s church!! How could I forget that place? It was there where I wanted to marry him and he knew it. How mean of him to do this to me… to leave me like that and get married to someone else in the very place where I wanted to take our relationship to the next level… where we would have created a permanent and stronger bond. It was the most brutal way of breaking someone’s heart.
NO!! I wasn’t letting this happen without contenting myself with a reasonable excuse of being left like that… not until he convinced me that I deserved it (I knew this would never happen… because I would never let him go to someone else).
I decided to go to St. Paul’s straightaway. It meant a 6 hour drive. I then realized how far I had come in search of him. I took a cab and next thing I knew was that I was standing right in front of the St. Paul’s church. I wasn’t embarrassed in going in, in 3 days old attire, a haystack for my hair and bruises on my body and my clothes brown with dirt. Knowing him and his contacts and rich and famous that he was, this should’ve been a grand affair. Holy shit!! If this was a grand affair, this was being planned for quite long now. I shook my head and thought to myself that it didn’t matter. I just strode across the road and stomped past the doors of the church and bang!! He was standing right in front of me in the best suit ever… looking handsome. My anguish seemed to fade away. I gasped and then reminded myself what I was here for.
I ran to him and asked what was all this about and why? What had gone wrong? He answered in his sweet musical voice.

Well even we are waiting for his answer!!

To be continued on thursday 19 th november!!

A kiss forever! - Part 1 of 3

Hello everybody!! Following is a short story i had managed during lectures. It's my first try at something like this.

PART 1OF 3

The Search..

‘Stand with me, hold me in your arms’, were the words stuck in my throat as voice refused to come out. All I could manage was a feeble scream that did not hit my ear drums. All I knew and all my mind could decipher amidst all confusion were hi last words.
I shuddered at the thought and yet again someone pressed the rewind button and then play… For a moment everything was hazy and then again those words. My eyes burned and my head spun. I could not find my hands to wipe the tears on my cheeks. I lost the sense of the world. I could not feel the pain when the door closed on my fingers and hot blood gushing from my nails gave me warmth as my body … my soul was cold. My stomach let out loud groans which had nothing to do with the hunger of not having eaten for the past two days!!
Yes two days had passed, I realized, since the phone rang and I had foreseen my world coming crashing down. I wanted to stand right below it and catch it before the glass shattered. Someone rewinded the tape to that point when I received a call at 3.30 am on Monday. Now starts the flashback.
I picked up the phone and put it on my ear, half cursing the person who had called up and then my eyes turned twice their normal size... my ears alert like a dog’s and my heart racing with no competitor. I heard the words,

“this is my last call to u before I go. I don’t want to be there anymore. Good bye and take care.”
I sat still for 15 minutes trying to unscramble what I heard. A shiver ran down my spine. I understood the last had cum but why? I deserved a reason and more than that I needed to save this. I jumped out of the bed and changed into…whatever (it didn’t really matter). I took all the money I had because I didn’t know where was the end of the search that will now begin.
I took a cab and headed towards the house behind the old mill…found nothing. I searched in the office… no relief to my eyes yet. I took the cab to the pub we often visited but of no avail. The cabbie refused to go any further as we almost circled across the town... I jumped out of the cab and half ran towards… well I didn’t know where. I reached station and took a train and got down at the last stop. I ran… my heart raced faster. What if I could not find what I came looking for? I decided I dint have time to think and straight went to the art gallery where his exhibitions were usually held. I slipped and tripped many times. It was raining cats and dogs and I had forgotten my overcoat. The only benefit of the down pour was that, people who thought that I had been bit by a mad dog could not see that I was crying, the fact being that even I did not realize it earlier.
I reached the gallery but it didn’t do any good. I searched in all the malls, departmental stores that I passed by. I also visited all the exhibitions scheduled for that day in the town hoping to see him in his 3-piece Raymond’s suit attending to the visitors. But, well as I said I was just hoping… the bubble kept bursting and a new one would ooze out every time I headed towards a new destination. Well I could have set a record and got myself entered into the Guiness Book for the optimism I showed.
I used cabs to move across the town. Some cabbies refused as I was all wet and some might have thought that I was some crazy woman who escaped from an asylum, given my hairdo. As if I cared!!
I don’t know why I was running around, looking for something (someone) who still had an option of rejecting me and after that, all of this running, starving and crying would be a waste. But I knew one thing, whatever may be the reason I was sure and positive about not letting my world come to hit a dead end. I’ll do whatever it takes.
Reality hit me hard when I realized an officer was calling on me for I was standing in the middle of the street when the signal was green. I apologized and my hunt began. I was already getting depressed as another day was coming to an end with no success. I shook my head and encouraged my self by thinking that I still had time. I went to the restaurants we often dined in, the cafes and the music stores that we usually visited, but no… I still had to try harder. Then something dawned upon me and I looked for my cell phone. I dialed his number for the umpteenth time and...

(Part2)will be continued on tuesday,17th november!!

Ummeed

आँखें खोलूँ तो चेहरा तुम्हारा हो, 

बंद करुँ तो सपना तुम्हारा हो.

मर भी जाऊं तो कोई गम नही, 

अगर कफन के बदले आँचल तुम्हारा हो. 

तनहाई में जब बीते लम्हों को याद आती है, 

क्या कहें जिस्म से जान चली जाती है. 

यूँ तो तुम्हारी बेरुखी सताती है मुझे, 

पर आँखें बंद करुँ तो सूरत तुम्हारी ही नज़र आती है. 

ढलती रात का खुला एहसास है, 

मेरे दिल में तेरी जगह कुछ ख़ास है. 

तुम नहीं हो यहाँ मुझे मालूम है, 

पर दिल ने कहा कि तू दिल के पास है. 

मेरे चेहरे से उठा दो कफ़न, 

मुझे आदत है मुस्कुराने की.

मेरी लाश अभी मत जलाना, 

मुझे उम्मीद है उनके आने की...

Gunda-Raj Season 2

Almost a year ago, I wrote a post (titled Gunda-Raj) on Raj Thackeray and his party Maharashtra Navnirman Sena's stand on the unnecessary fuss over non-Marathis. A year later, the issue has bounced back with the entry of a side hero (or should I say the sidekick of the villain) MNS MLA Ram Kadam slapped Samajwadi Party MLA Abu Asim Azmi for taking oath in Hindi. (watch this video)

Such an incident is a shame on the name of democracy. Its worst than dictatorship. Utter nonsense. I want to ask the MNS-men that is Hindi a language from Pakistan? Or is Maharashtra not a part of India? Is this what the Marathi manoos have reduced to do?
To me, MNS = Makes No Sense !

Even Abu Azmi is no saint. But he's an elected representative. And who says that one form of gundaism can be met with another form of gundaism? Azmi himself has a dubious past. There have been several allegations against him including links with underworld don Dawood Ibrahim. He was also accused in the 1993 Bombay Bomb Blasts, but was later acquitted by the court. Still, will this incident not make him a hero (at least to some people)?

But that's not the point of discussion. Azmi, being an elected representative, being an Indian citizen, had the right to take oath in any of the Indian languages. And Hindi is no foreign language.

I would like to quote one of Rajdeep Sardesai's tweets :

"linguistic chauvinism is hypocritical. most mns leaders send their children to eng medium schools, ditto with samajwadi party."

I agree with this totally ! Both MNS and SP are taking advantage of this issue now to gain political mileage from the Marathas and the minority communities respectively. But, in the long run, this is going to create a lot of differences in the minds of people over regionalism.

The fact that the MNS bagged 13 seats in the Maharashtra assembly is an indication that Raj Thackeray has succeeded in creating a fear psychosis in the minds of people. And due to this issue, he has also gained sympathy of some. But, his brand of politics would lead him nowhere.

This incident clearly highlights the fact that the basic principle of "Unity in Diversity" lies nowhere. Should we assume that the MNS has no respect for the law and the Constitution? Why should we not tag them as anti-nationalists? Aren't they a threat to the security of the nation? If the UP government can impose the NSA on Varun Gandhi, why can't the Maharashtra government do the same on such extremists?

A lot of questions in my mind. But, from whom should I seek answers?

हिन्दी हैं हम, वतन हिन्दोस्तां हमारा...

Let there be peace !

PS : I'll speak Hindi even in Maharashtra and I am not afraid of Raj Thackeray or anybody !! And as they say in Hindi : 

"जो उखाड़ना है, उखाड़ ले...."

The National Song and the Fatwa

Fatwa issued against Vande Mataram

This piece of news is shocking to many. But, to me, it is disgusting ! Jamiat Ulema-e-Hind of Deoband has issued a fatwa (n.  A legal opinion or ruling issued by an Islamic scholar) against the National Song 'Vande Mataram'. (Watch the Times Now video)

Jamait Ulema-e-Hind or the JUH on Tuesday issued a fatwa against singing national song ‘Vande Mataram’. According to a resolution, Muslims should not sing ‘Vande Mataram’ as its reciting is against the Islam.

The resolution, which was passed at the Deoband national convention meet, says that Muslims should not sing ‘Vande Mataram’ as some verses of the patriotic song are against the tenets of Islam. The JUH leader said that the some of the line in the song is against Islam.

In the first place, I'd like to ask these so-called scholars is it necessary to issue such a fatwa against a song which inspired a lot of freedom fighters (including Muslims) to fight for the country's independence? And if you do so, I'm very sorry to say that you don't deserve to be called a 'scholar'. And if you have a problem in reciting Vande Mataram, nobody's compelling you to do so. In turn, you shouldn't impose your thoughts over other Muslims brothers and sisters.

I'm not against Islam. I respect Islam as much as I respect my own faith or any other faith for that matter. All I can not stand is this 'extremism' and imposition of thoughts on others.

Isn't it a deliberate attempt to create differences in the minds of common people? Will in not create rifts between Hindus and Muslims? And God forbid, if something happens, who the hell is gonna take the responsibility? Will the clerics hold themselves responsible?

Why didn't they issue fatwa against A R Rahman for his much successful rendition of Vande Mataram? Wasn't it un-Islamic at that time? Hats off to A R Rahman for that marvellous rendition. I loved that song ! I don't think A R Rahman would stop singing Vande Mataram at his concerts. And the clerics would agree that he's a perfect Muslim. So here you go....

I just want to say that I detest those people who poke their nose in other's lives. You live yours, and let others live theirs. Thats it !! In my opinion, the nation should be primary, and religion or faith should be secondary.

Meanwhile, the Muslim Law Board justified the decision saying that (Muslims) can’t offer prayers to anyone but Allah. Kamal Farooqui, a prominent leader of the Board said, “We love the nation but can’t worship it.”

Dude !! Who tells you to worship? If you don't want to sing, its ok. Don't force it on others. GROW UP !!! Get a life !

On the contrary, many of the Muslim political leaders and other prominent Muslims personalities have thrashed the fatwa against the national song. Renowned scriptwriter and lyricist Javed Akhtar said, “The objection is redundant. You don’t want to sing Vande Mataram? Don’t! Who is forcing you? I sing it. I don’t see it as objectionable. If you do, don’t sing it. Why do you insist on bringing such irrelevant matters centre stage?”

Javed Akhtar, who is considered as nationalist believes in strengthening the country not dividing its people on the basis of religion said, “ It’s a non-issue and unnecessarily provocative. I’ve written songs with Vande Mataram in them. I used the term Vande Mataram in Priyadarshan’s Saza-e-Kala Pani. Then I used the term for a song in Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani and finally for a song that’s used at the military academy at Dehradun. Please don’t make an issue out of a non-issue. These are non-entities.”

My advice to everyone : Singing or not singing Vande Mataram is entirely your personal choice. Please don't let others make it an issue. If you don't want to sing, its better you don't sing rather than publicise the matter and create rifts.

And by the way, here's the song Vande Mataram followed by its English translation, which will help you understand it.

वन्दे मातरम्
सुजलां सुफलां मलयजशीतलाम्
शस्यश्यामलां मातरम् |
शुभ्र ज्योत्स्ना पुलकित यामिनीम्
फुल्ल कुसुमित ध्रुमदलशोभिनीम्,
सुहासिनीं सुमधुर भाषिणीम्
सुखदां वरदां मातरम् ||

वन्दे मातरम् ||

And here's the english translation :

My obeisance to Mother India!
With flowing beneficial waters
Filled with choicest fruits
With cooling breeze
Green with the harvest
O mother! My obeisance to you!
Ecstatic moonlit nights
The plants blooming with flowers
Sweet speaker of sweet languages
Fount of blessings,
Mother, I salute you! 

In the end, I'd just like to add one more thing :

Be an INDIAN first, then be a Hindu or Muslim or Sikh or Jain or Buddhist or Christian or whatever.....

PS : You decide !!!

Zeher

हर राह पर तुम्हे देखता हूँ, हर मोड़ पर तुम्हे ढूंढता हूँ,

शायद कहीं तुम मिल जाओ.

हर रात तुम्हे ख़्वाबों में देखता हूँ,

शायद... शायद कभी ज़िन्दगी में उतर आओ.

तुम्हारी एक झलक के लिए

मैं घंटों इंतज़ार करता हूँ.

नहीं दिखती, फिर भी जीता हूँ,

उस एक मीठे पल के लिए पल-पल ज़हर पीता हूँ.

लोग कहते हैं, मैं हँसता नहीं,

हँसूं भी तो कैसे?

तुम मेरी जान हो,

और जान के बिना, बस एक शरीर हूँ जैसे.

तुम्ही से प्यार किया है, तुम्ही से करूंगा,

फिर चाहे तुम करो या नहीं.

तुम्हे प्यार करने से

मुझे कोई रोक सकता नहीं.

सिर्फ एक याद होती, तो भुला देता,

तुम्हें हर सांस में जीता हूँ.

भुला सकता नहीं,

याद कर कर के मरता हूँ.

कल तुम से मिलूँगा,

पता नहीं, फिर मिलूँ भी या नहीं.

तुम्हारे बिना जीयूँगा,

पता नहीं, फिर जीयूँ भी या नहीं.

Tum

हवा के झोंके की तरह
जिंदगी में आई थी तुम,
खुशियों की सौगात और
प्यार के रंग संग लाई थी तुम.
 

ग़म के गुमनाम अंधेरे में
रोशनी बन कर छाई थी तुम,
चाहत का एहसास लिए
सुकून बन कर दिल में समाई थी तुम.

खुशियों से रंगीन थी दुनिया
हर पल जो मेरे पास थी तुम,
ग़म के बादल गहरे हैं
जब से जुदा हुई हो तुम.

क्यूँ यहाँ बेबस अकेला हूँ मैं
क्यूँ यहाँ इतना तनहा हूँ मैं,
क्यूँ टूटे सपने वो सारे
क्यूँ मुझसे इतनी दूर हो गई हो तुम.

दिल की बेबसी कैसे कहूँ आंखों से
आंसू बन के बहती हो तुम,
तरसता हूँ तेरे प्यार को मैं
पल पल मुझे याद आती हो तुम .

Rest in Pieces

Well to start with, this article is related to the legendary pop artist Michael Jackson. Sorry I am just not able to grasp that he is now Late Mr. Michael Jackson… thanks to the media!!

To be honest I never listened to his songs. I was just a fan of his dancing and specifically his signature step- MOON WALK!! I am or rather was not a fan of Michael Jackson the king of pop, I was and still am the fan of Michael Jackson the fighter. Michael Jackson for me is a man who struggled, fought and achieved his life, fame and popularity.

He was born on the 29th of August 1958 and on 26th June 2009; he left the worldly peace only to enter a phase of disrupted calm after death! Confused? Most of us might be wondering, what made me think that the living world has peace and that after death calm is destroyed, wherein people always look up to death as a medium to attain peace and relieve themselves from the troubles, worldly pressures , conflicts, etc. Well, what I stated isn’t wrong. Although it doesn’t go with the majority, It is at least true for Michael Jackson.

He is a man who lived his life in front of the cameras, a person who was always involved in controversies, and then may it be anything!! From child abuse to taking drugs, from undergoing 11 plastic surgeries to injuring himself to death (almost), Michael Jackson’s name was associated with everything. I can’t take away his popularity as the most sensational pop artist. As a person who made millions cry over his songs and a person who burnt the stage with hi s tapping feet. His music still live and so does him in it!! This reminds me of an SMS I recently received. It said:

“You are remembered for what you give and what good you do.”

But as far as Michael Jackson is concerned don’t u reckon it should be a bit different. While he was alive he was into news mostly for all the wrong reasons.

When was it that an Indian newspaper bore the announcement of the launch of his new album? Never!!and now, we have people remembering him and his music and paying tribute to him all over the world!! I do not question their sentiments. As far as paying tribute is concerned it is good, it is acceptable but the way media is following Michael Jackson even after his demise is shameful. He may have died because of whatever reason… maybe a drug overdose. FINE!!! Why do the media make it a pain for his family and fans by digging harder and deeper into the matter (than required)? Why are they trying to scrape the already peeled fruit? Questioning the doctors who treated Michael Jackson, and that his ghost was seen by some lady, and that he had a rare skin disease, and that he had a loan of 1 million $ to repay, and that he had divorced his wife because he was not sexually straight, and the media crossed all limits when there were rumors that Michael Jackson is faking his death and has gone into hiding!! What bullshit! What nonsense!!

A man who entertained all, who gave us(most of us) our most treasured collection of music, a man who faced all questions thrown at him, a man who did wrong… accepted it and grew as an artist over the years, deserves some peace in his after life. The priest in the funeral says” may his soul rest in peace forever”. Why do we need to make it difficult for Michael Jackson even after he succumbed to death, he already had a difficult life!! We (read: media) are actually rephrasing it into meaning “may his soul rest in pieces forever!”

Here is a humble request to all… please relieve the king of pop of all the disgraceful and worldly accusations when he is no more a part of it!!

SAL-MAN-IA

That's a word coined by me. Its short for Salman Mania.

This is a particular form of Celeb Craziness, particularly for Salman Khan. I don't understand why people are so crazy about celebrities. I do not find anything different in them. They have two eyes, so have I and I have specs too. They have two ears, so have I. They have one nose, so have I, pretty clean too. They have a pair of lips, so have I. (Should I say kissable too... :p)

I'm getting on your nerves. Isn't it? Well, there were some people who got on mine too. Salman aaya yahan, to mujhe kyun tang karte ho yaar? I got a lot of calls from people asking me if I went to see him. I told him I've already met him earlier on a flight from Bombay (sorry Sena-men, both Shiv Sena and MNS, but it was Bombay then) to Goa.

I got carried away. I'm here not to describe my personal experience, but to comment on 'Celeb Crazy' people. Well, thousands of people had gathered here and in Sumerpur, a nearby town, to have a glimpse of the much controversial actor. And at both the places the police had to lathicharge to control the crowd.

Amazing !! Isn't it?

I had a lot more important things to do than to bear the lathis of police. In fact, I didn't had any chance of facing the lathis, as Salman was a guest at a friend's hotel. And he had invited me to be a part of the function. Still, I preferred to stay away from the actor's blink-and-you-miss visit. He was here to attend a roadshow to thank the people of Sumerpur constituency on the behalf of politician-turned-actor-back-to-politics Beena Kak (in the pic), Cabinet Minister in Rajasthan Government, MLA from Sumerpur and filmi 'maa' of Salman Khan in 'Maine Pyaar Kyun Kiya?'. He also endorsed Rajasthan Government's much hyped 'Harit Rajasthan' programme.

Falna, Sumerpur and Jawai Bandh were on national news for two days. People said I could've been easily on TV. I would prefer to wait than be hit by lathis to be on TV. I can't handle this kind of celebrity crap !

I wish God could spare some time and re-consider the architecture of the top floor of these 'Celeb Crazy' people.

Peace !

Pics courtesy : Kiran Studio, Falna.