Thursday, December 31, 2009

Whoaa !! Its almost 2010 !!

















Hey guys and gals,

New year is at the doorstep. It knocks in any moment. So, its time, before we open the door, to make some promises to ourselves.

Although, my side of the story is always the same and even this year is no exception as i stick by my principle of 'No Resolutions'.

But, to add to this one, my co-blogger Garima and I have made a common resolution. We have decided to rectify one mistake of ours and make this blog what it is meant for - CRAP!!

Well, as we promised in our inaugural post that this blog is going to be fun and full of shit (to be read as :: crap, as it appears in English movie subtitles, although they speak 'shit'), but due to some unexplainable and some really silly reasons, this couldn't happen. Its difficult to think funny in intense moments. Anyways some smart person has found out a way for us by saying 'Promises are meant to be broken....' ;) lolzzz!!

Jokes apart, on a serious note (seriously serious), we will now make efforts to keep up with our promise. Enough of rule breaking.

Hopefully, all our resolutions materialize this year and if not then well we have another new year coming up too!! Tension nahi lene ka monaco khaneka!!


Lastly, I wish all of us a very HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Keep crapping!!

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

The end before the beginning

Dear readers,

I would just act responsible by declaring that this is my last post… That, I will never again go through this journey, willingly or unwillingly, and the reason being that TIME is UNIDIRECTIONAL. So even if I wish to I won’t be able to live these moments again.

Any which ways, poet T.S. Eliot famously wrote---
For last year’s words belong to last year’s language…
And next year’s words await another voice’

Ohhh!! I guess I didn’t complete my 1st sentence: It was ----
I would just act responsible by declaring that this is my last post… for the year 2009.
What did you guys think??

Anyways, moving on… thanks to all the readers for your support via comments. I would like to add, as Ankit says ‘Criticism is always welcome’ I request you all to continue to help us keep up and improve.

Also, this last year must’ve been an eventful one for all of us. We all saw highs and lows (together and individually). Let’s keep the good and forget the bad that happened to us.

As Brooks Atkinson has penned down---
‘Drop the last year into the silent limbo of the past. Let it go, for it was imperfect, and thank God that it can go’





Let us all welcome 2010 with open arms. May the light of new year bring all of us happiness and goodwill.

With this I wrap up for this year wishing all of us:


P.S.: Enjoy the celebration but please be safe.

Thursday, December 24, 2009

Jingle all the way!!


Hola guys n gals...its Christmas time!! CHEERS!!
It’s that time of the year when the streets will have red in every corner, a Santa cap on every head and the echo of the famous cheer… HO HO HO!!! It’s the day when the homes will see decorated Christmas trees and a holly leaf at its door! Yes it is also the time when we have chocolates, ice-creams, pastries, etc. stored in our refrigerators.

I just thought to take the privilege of sharing what underlines this celebration. Jesus Christ was born on 25th December and he was believed to be the son of god. His birth is celebrated because he came to make this place worth living in and rested his breath for the cause.

By the way, Christmas is also one of the most awaited days of the year for the 2 reasons:
1) It marks the beginning of the countdown for the New Year.
2) Gifts, Christmas carols, parties and all a chance or say an excuse to start afresh with everything.

Well, yes gifts and Christmas carols are my favorite parts of the season and I do believe in Santa Claus (The Father of Christmas) and that he is present in all of us. So here is a request to all the readers- Please share with us what is that one gift you would want to ask from Santa Claus and also one gift that you would want to gift to me, Garima Ranawat and one to my co-author Ankit B. Rathod.

The time has come to spread smiles across the city, nation, globe…till wherever we can reach.
Wishing you all a MERRY XMAS and loads of love, luck and smiles!!

Saturday, December 19, 2009

HAPPY and GAY !!

Sorry for being late in posting new crap here on Crapologists. Its all because both of us crapologists - me and Garima - were quite busy with our lives. Garima was busy with stuffs as usual - journal writings, college, etc - and also her Farewell. Garima-ji, Farewell toh ab ho gaya, we expect a post from you SOOOOOON !!! And I was busy with work, office, factory, being home alone, college and a skit !

Yes, a skit. Although, I'm not an avid participant in social and cultural activities, I participated in the skit 'coz of a friend. He was going to participate, but couldn't due to some health problems. He's still recuperating. This is when I jumped into the bandwagon !

Here are two videos of the act. The quality isn't that good, but it isn't that bad either.





The audience cheered us. We rocked the stage full on ! The audience gave us a standing ovation ! Yet, we lost the top position to another act, which was adjudged 'the best' only on the basis of their concept. No doubt their concept was good, but they had no dance ! But judges ko kaun samjhaaye??? Khair, jo hota hai achhe ke liye hi hota hai.... Such is life !

Mohabbat





मिला वो भी नहीं करते, मिला हम भी नहीं करते,
बेवफाई वो भी नहीं करते, बेवफाई हम भी नहीं करते.


उन्हें रुसवाई का दुख है, हमें तनहाई का दुख है,
गिला वो भी नहीं करते, गिला हम भी नहीं करते.


गली के किसी मोड़ पर अकसर सामना हो जाता है,
रुका वो भी नहीं करते, रुका हम भी नहीं करते.


उन्हें जब देखते हैं, सोचते हैं कुछ कहें उन से,
सुना वो भी नहीं करते, कहा हम भी नहीं करते.


हमें वो देखते हैं, उन्हें हम देखते हैं,
रहा वो भी नहीं करते, रहा हम भी नहीं करते.


कोई ये बताए हमें, कैसी ये अनोखी मोहब्बत है,
इनकार वो भी नहीं करते, इज़हार हम भी नहीं करते.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Thirty-three idiots + 1


Living life in bits and parts… sharing… saving and spending… and a lot more than this account for the experiences that one gets in a place where one is on his own, and yet he/she knows that he/she will be taken care of. Yes. I am talking about the college life, and Degree College, to be specific.

I am a TYBSc Biotechnology student. Life for me meant 7 hours at college and the rest at home struggling to keep up with everything else that mattered… parents, health, household, friends, society, etc. In the wake of making a place for myself in the corporate world I thought I was missing a lot. I envied my pals from other faculties, thought they had fun while we were screwing up our asses in the labs looking for micro organisms under the microscope and figuring out their morphology. The guys in my class comment:

“Ma’am there are other living beings on this planet and studying their morphology would be of incomparable interests!”

I don’t really think I need to explain this one.

Well in complete contrast to my first paragraph are the experiences that I have had in my 3 years of Degree College. No doubt we as science students had a tough regular schedule but no one could have enjoyed as much as we did while learning.
In these three years I have grown up with the company of 33 others (my batch mates) like me. We learnt to hate, we learnt to love, and we learnt the meaning of second chances and also the meaning of forgiving endlessly. In spite of all our differences together we gave birth to ‘KAOS- Nature is restless’ the festival of our department , in our 2nd year i.e. in 2008 and also 'KAOS'09-Nature is restless' in 2009 on a larger scale. The making of this fest was a life time experience. We celebrated all festivals in college. Our biotech lab was our party place. We would get cakes, sweets, snacks, balloons; decide a dress code for our department. The teachers always supported our little effort to create a better bond between students and teachers.


The only thing that I will miss after my Ty is my class. We being the batch with the least strength (34) have made our mark in our college. Our unity impressed all and made things work in our favor most of the times. Our head of the department Dr. Aparna Deshmukh termed us as the best batch the college has ever seen. She admires the unity our batch shows under any circumstances then may it be mass bunking or asking for an IV(industrial visit) or may be while organizing a fest or protesting against unfair rules of the college. We have faced the criticism when we were called a bunch arrogant and head strong people. Yes, we are like any other group who has heroes and villains. We love and hate at the same time.


Today as we are coming to the end of the last academic year of Degree College I feel butterflies in my stomach. I feel as if there is a hole in my heart. I am scared to see the end of this wonderful journey with all its good and bad. I will miss loving those friends who have made tough times easier and will miss hating those who made tough times worse. I will miss the days when the Prof. would catch me studying for the next days test or playing antakshari on paper. Those days when together we cursed all other beings on earth; those days when we laughed at even the worst of PJs; those nick names assigned to a few people; those days when we fought as if one will kill another; those days when we cried over foolish issues; those days when I and my friends would chat via SMSes during the lectures; those games of truth and dare and all those stupid dares that we gave and the game of dumb charades with all weird movie names; and a lot more to add to the list.


All in all I am proud of the 3 years that I have spent in company of 33 other idiots like me.
CHEERS!!! To all that we have had and all that is yet to come in the last few days!!

Dec 6 - a day to be remembered !

December 6, that's today. Its a day to be remembered, for some bad things, and for some good.

Cut to December 6, 1992.
Ayodhya. Uttar Pradesh. India.

"Raam Lala aayenge... Mandir wahin banayenge !"

Around 1.5 lakh Kar Sevaks gathered with this slogan in what was supposed to be a political meeting. The Babri Mosque was demolished by a large group of Hindus, who had been camped out at the site for weeks. Members of the Vishwa Hindu Parishad (VHP) were part of this large group. The VHP wanted to erect a temple dedicated to Rama at this spot. Many Muslim organizations, on the other hand strongly oppose the building of the temple.


Seventeen years later, the Liberhan Commission, one of the longest running enquiry commission with 48 extensions, submitted a report with no strong conclusions and no recommendations of a strong punitive action against anybody. The commission was to submit its report in three-months' time. But 17 years and 48 extensions later, the result was null.

Most of the Kar Sevaks have become old or are in the mid-ages. They are not as active as they were 17 years ago. And most of the people in young generation don't care about the issue anymore. They don't care even if there's a temple or not. They don't care even if there's a mosque at that place or not.

In fact, basically India does not need a temple or a mosque. Look at the grim situation of education in the country. Why not build up a nice educational institution at that place? I'm sure Lord Rama and Allah (and Mr Babar) won't mind to this idea. They won't have any hard feelings if the people of Ayodhya get good education. Its upto us now to take the decision. Do we still want to fight over the issue and guzzle millions of our hard earned money or do we want a good future?


Back to December 6, 2009.
Brabourne Stadium. Mumbai. Maharashtra. India.

"Jeetega bhai jeetega... India jeetega !"

The slogan has changed. India on the verge of becoming number one in test cricket. At the beginning of the fifth day's play Sri Lanka were trailing by 59 runs in their second innings. And India were just four wickets away from creating a history.

And Zaheer Khan struck. Three wickets in the first twenty minutes. And in the next ten minutes, Harbhajan Singh claimed the final wicket, thus making India numero uno in test rankings.



 This match, filled with ecstatic performances by Virender Sehwag (293 off 254), Zaheer Khan (5/72 in second innings), Rahul Dravid, VVS Laxman, Sachin Tendulkar and he entire team, will be overshadowing the Babri issue, at least this year.

This was something good that happened on Dec 6. And I hope, every year something like this happens, so that people don't remember December 6 as the saddest day in Indian history !

Amen.

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Marwaris = Smart !

While surfing through some random blogs, I came across this story of a Marwari salesman. I, being a Marwari myself, couldn't refrain myself from reading it. I loved it sooooo much. Read it and know how good Marwaris are at business !



A keen immigrant Indian lad applied for a salesman’s job at London’s premier downtown departmental store. In fact, it was the biggest store in the world – you could get anything there.
The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"
"Yes sir, I was a salesman in Rajasthan in India", replied the lad.
The boss liked the cut of him and said,
"You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and see you."
The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked,
"How many sales did you make today?"
"Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman.
"Only one sale?" blurted the boss.
"No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you’d better be doing better than just one sale. By the way how much was the sale worth?"
"Three hundred thousand three hundred and thirty four pounds", said the young Marwari.
"What? How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.
"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he’d be needing a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer. I then asked him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we’re at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer."
The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"
"No." answered the salesman, "He came in to buy a box of sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Your weekend is screwed anyway; you might as well go fishing."

So, this is what being Marwari is... I'm proud to be a Marwari ! Kasam se....