Rajinikanth Rocks ! - version 2.0

RAJINIKANTH is back... A few more reasons why Rajinikanth is undisputedly the number one !

1. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
2. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
3. The last digit of pi is Rajinikanth. He is the end of all things.
4. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
5. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
6. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
7. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
8. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.
9. Rajinikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
10. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.
11. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
12. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
13. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
14. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
15. Osama Bin Laden is hiding in Afghanistan not because of fear of America but because of fear of Rajinikanth (Actually Rajinikanth caught Osama twice but set him free because Rajinikanth hates America)
16. Rajinikanth taught Michael Jackson how to dance.
17. Pakistan attacked India 3 times.... Not because they wanted Kashmir but beacause they want Rajinikanth... (All the 3 times Rajinikanth alone saved India)
18. Bruce Lee and Mohammed Ali were champions in their sports because they never faced Rajinikanth.
19.  Second world war stopped because Rajinikanth threatened to step in and destroy all nations if they don't stop.
20. If a person says most destructive weapon in Nuclear Bomb it means he has never met Rajinikanth.

[ courtesy : Shashank Chorge ]

Rajinikanth ROCKS !

Rajinikanth is the great Indian super hero. For more details, just "google" him. Here are some glimpses of what this super hero can do. And YENNA RASCALLA, no one laughs while reading this. MIND IT !

1. When Rajinikanth does push-ups, he isn't lifting himself up. He is pushing the earth down.
2. There is no such thing as evolution, it's just a list of creatures that Rajinikanth allowed to live.
3. Rajnikanth can divide by zero.
4. Rajinikanth can judge a book by it's cover.
5. Rajinikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.
6. Rajinikanth can slam a revolving door.
7. Rajinikanth once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are today called giraffes.
8. Rajinikanth can make onions cry.
9. Rajinikanth destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.
10. Rajinikanth once got into a knife-fight. The knife lost.
11. Rajinikanth never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself in fear.
12. Rajinikanth doesn't breathe. Air hides in his lungs for protection.
13. Rajinikanth does not own a stove, oven, or microwave, because revenge is a dish best served cold.
14. Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that's why there are no signs of life there.
15. Rajinikanth doesn't move at the speed of light. Light moves at the speed of Rajinikanth.
16. Rajinikanth knows Victoria's secret.
17. Google won't find Rajinikanth because you don't find Rajinikanth; Rajinikanth finds you.
18. Rajinikanth leaves messages before the beep.
19. Rajinikanth calls Voldemort by his name.
20. Rajinikanth’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajinikanth.
21. Rajinikanth once had a heart attack. His heart lost.
22. Rajinikanth is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
23. Rajinikanth doesn’t wear a watch. He decides what time it is.
24. When you say “no one is perfect”, Rajinikanth takes this a personal insult.
25. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajinikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.
26. When Rajinikanth is asked to kill some one he doesn't know, he shoots the bullet and directs it the day he finds out.
27. Rajinikanth can answer a missed call !!!
28. Rajinikanth can hit 16 runs in one ball.
29. Usain Bolt runs faster coz he is very afraid of Rajinikanth.
30. When anyone shoots on Rajinikanth, he can break the bullet by his blade.
31. Rajinikanth doesn't need a gun to shoot a bullet, he just throws it with his hand.
32. Rajinikanth can be the highest goal scorer at a football game being a goal keeper. He can score goals from goal kicks!
33. Rajinikanth can create typhoons with his legs.
34. Rajinikanth can stop a tsunami by just blowing it away by his mouth!
35. Rajinikanth can clap with one hand.
36. Rajinikanth can sleep with his eyes open !! 
37. Rajinikanth's hands are longer than law ! 
38. Rajinikanth never appeared for an exam. Exams disappeared with the fear of Rajinikanth.
39. When its pouring from the sky, its not heavy rains, its Rajinikanth crying when he's upset.
40. There are some things humans can't do. For everything else, there's Rajinikanth.

It happens only in India !

Yeah !! These glitches can happen only in Indian movies.... Have a look !

Baghban:

Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, i.e. From March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September! 

Lagaan:

Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie. 

Amar Akbar Anthony:

Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person. 

Awwal Number:

Dev Anand is an omnipotent genius -- former cricketer,captain, army chief, commissioner, you name it. And Aamir Khan carries a huge transistor in his pocket while batting!

Khalnayak:

The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen! Something that office team will be interested in)

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha: Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America . Well, well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways. That Time Jet Airways wasn't an International Flight. Or else we say that Movie was Pre-launched?

Raja Hindustani:

Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. After tying the knot, she acquires waist-length hair overnight. What a hair-raising experience!

Raja:

Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill!

Guddu:

Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level!

Tere Mere Sapne:

Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at the bus stop, she is carrying an electrical technology thesis by B L Theraja. What an electrifying interest!

Thats all for now !! Enlist some more if you can... :P

PS: To avoid non-posting and post frequency issues, I've merged Good For Nothin' and Crapologists... Now GFN will have blended posts !!

PS2: This post can be taken as a space filler !

Incredible India

We live in a nation where a pizza reaches faster than an ambulance or police !

We live in a nation where you get a car loan at 5% interest but an educational loan at 12% interest !

We live in a nation where rice is Rs 40 per kg but a sim card is free !

We live in a nation where a millionaire can buy a cricket team for thousands of crores of rupees instead of donating a part of the money to charity !

We live in a nation where everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to follow the path to be famous !

We live in a nation where the netas are more concerned for IPL rather than the population living below poverty line (BPL) !

We live in a nation where the agriculture minister is more interested in cricket politics rather than controlling the rising prices of the basic food grains !

We live in a nation where a union minister can remain absconding when declared guilty by the court !

We live in a nation where loads of money is spent to provide security to a terrorist when hundreds of people are killed every year in terror acts !

We live in a nation where people love to break rules and then get away by paying a petty bribe !

We live in a nation where people prefer tainted netas to represent them over educated ones !

We live in a nation where people standing at a tea stall reading an article on child labour say "Yaar, bachho se kaam karwane waalo ko goli maar deni chahiye..." and then they say "Oye chhotu ! 2 chai laa..."

We live in INDIA ! Incredible India !

PS : Some of the above points are a part of an SMS forwarded by a friend of mine. I added some points on my own.

PS2 : This post should not be taken in a wrong sense. Rather this post should be taken as the key areas where we can change the system.

CID-iots

Guys, guys and girls ! (Now that the Women's Reservation Bill has been passed in the Rajya Sabha, I'm trying to get used to 33% reservation for women...)

 

It gives me a great pleasure announcing the news that "Good For Nothin..." is foraying into a new business... And that's film making.

Yes, we're entering the showbiz ! But, before we invest our hard earned money into this very risky business, I thought of having an opinion about the script of my first film from you !

Isn't that great??? I know it is...

I grew up watching the super awesome crime show CID ! And more recently, the film 3 Idiots left a huge impact on my small mind (you can even put it in your pocket...). So, I had a thought that both of these had to be in my first film.

A few days ago, I came across a script, on Facebook, from a guy who did not want to be named. I've told him to pop up and claim credit for the story at the time of the release of the film, just as Chetan Bhagat did, so that the movie can get some free publicity. So I made a few changes to the script. I'm posting the script here. Please leave your comments on it. Whether I should go with the script or the script sucks, you can say anything. Please feel free to give suggestions, if any...

And yes, I've designed a poster too...

Here it is...

Starring : ACP Pradyumn, Daya and Abhijeet in and as CID-iots (CID + 3 Idiots)

Supporting Cast : Fredericks, Dr. Salunkhe, Vivek, Chatur, Virus aka Viru Sahastrabuddhe, etc

Script : Unknown FB guy and Ankit B. Rathod

Music : talks on with Anu Malik and Preetam. We'll finalise the one who can give us the most 'inspired' music at the cheapest rates.

Director : Ankit B. Rathod

Producer : Good For Nothin....

And, here goes the script...

* * * * * * * * * *   CID-iots  Script   -   First   Draft   * * * * * * * * * *

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call the world famous CID.

ACP Pradyumn : OHH MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya... Campus ko achhi tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !! (Shaking his finger)

After searching the campus like a pair of buffoons, Abhijeet and Daya find out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years ago in the campus...

Abhijeet: Sir, Maamla gadbad hai...Yaha kisi Joy Lobo naam ke student ne aatma-hatya ki thi... 4 saal pehle... Lagta hai woh aatma-hatya nahi, khoon tha... Aur shayad khooni yeh Rancho hi hoga !!!

ACP: OHH MY GODD !!! Abhijeet, Daya... Ek kaam karo... Ye Joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikaalo... Aur usey Forensic Lab mein leke aao... Dr. Salunkhe zaroor koi naa koi baat ugalva lenge is murde aadmi se !!

Fredericks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of Joy...

And the next scene is of the Forensic Lab...

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahut jaldi laash le aaye tum... Is se kuch bulvaana mushkil hoga... Lekin tum tension mat lo... Tum Dr. Salunkhe ki lab se khaali haath wapas nahi jaaoge... Koi naa koi raaz to pata chal hi jayega...

After playing with some colour changing liquids...

Dr. Salunkhe: BOSS... Tum ne kaha is ki maut suicide se hui hai... Main kehta hoon is ka khoon hua hai !!

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Ye mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!... Ye kaise ho sakta hai??

Salunkhe: BOSS... Sab kuch mumkin hai !! Ye dekho...

(shows him his star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)

ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger).... To phir yeh baat humein kisi ne batayi kyun nahi??? Ek kaam karo... Uss principal ko yahaan leke aao Bureau mein... Ab kya sach hai, wohi humein batayega !!

Virus is brought to the Bureau...

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai... Maine kuch nahi kiya...

Abhijeet: Sach sach batao... Us raat campus mein kya hua tha???

Virus: Ssssir, main sssach bol raha hoon... Mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??

Daya takes over and gives him a dose of his special world famous CHAMAAAT !!!

Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad aa gaya... Batata hoon... Sab batata hoon !

Fredericks: (constipated look) Sir... Daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu hai... Is ka 'sssss' karna band ho gaya...

ACP: Fredericks... Chup raho !!

Virus: Uss raat sab logo ne Gay Party ki thi.... Sab log apni underwear mein campus mein ghoom rahe the.... Main bhi tha... Lekin mere saath koi flirt hi nahi kar raha tha... Isliye main bahut gusse mein tha... Phir Joy aaya aur usne mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya... Maine us ka helicopter dust bin mein fek diya.. To wo rote-rote apne room mein chala gaya... Aur next din hum ne dekha to uska murder ho gaya tha... Lekin aap please ye baat kisi se boliye mat... College ki badnaami ho jayegi...

ACP: Hum kisi ko nahi batayenge... Tum humare saath co-operate karo...

Virus leaves...

ACP: Yahaan kuch to gadbad hai Daya.... Aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus mein khoon ho gaya aur kisi ne CID ko bulaya hi nahi?? Apna publicity ka kharcha badha do....

Abhijeet: Sir, ye college mein padhe-likhe log hain... Shayad in logo ko pata hai ki pehle Police ko bulaana chahiye, CID ko nahi !!

ACP: Aur ye kaise hua ki khooni campus mein aa gaya.... Aur campus se khoon kar ke nikal bhi gaya??

Vivek : Sir, shayad ye bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

ACP: Haan Vivek... Kuchh bhi ho sakta hai... Kuchh bhi... (shaking his finger)... Ek kaam karo Abhijeet... Phir se campus mein chalte hain... Aur achhi tarah se check karte hain... Yahaan daal mein zaroor kuchh kaala hai !!

Abhijeet: Sir, daal mein kaala nahi, poori daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!

They reach the campus in their old faithful Toyota Qualis which changes colour every episode... But the number plate is still the same... And Daya slams the breaks...

SCCRREEEECH !!

ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum poora campus CHECK KARO.... Daya ,tum is campus ke saare DARWAAZE TOD DO....!! Fredericks, tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se entertain karo... Aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hoon.... Chalo sab apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!

After checking the campus...

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aaiye.... Ye dekho.... Ye ek Chatur Ramalingam naam ke ladke ki diary mili hai sir... Is mein likha hai ki wo aur Rancho ek doosre ke dushman the... Aur wo Rancho se badla lena chahta tha !!

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)... OHH MY GODD !!! Ab ye Chatur kaun hai...?? Aur iske room se itni badbu kyun aa rahi hai...?? Good work Vivek...! Is evidence ko forensic lab le jao !

Abhijeet: Haaiinn !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai... Shayad is Chatur ne hi Joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! Aur Rancho kahaan gaya, ye bhi usey hi pata hoga !!

ACP: To bulao is Chatur ko Bureau mein... Is se hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!

Chatur in interrogation...

ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !! Main us ke baare mein kuchh nahi jaanti....

Abhijeet: Dekho... Sach sach bataao !! Humein tumhari ye diary mili hai... Wo bhi tumhare room se... Ye diary to pehchante ho naa tum?? Is mein saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhe Rancho se jalan thi...

Chatur : (over-acting)... Ye diary meri hi hai... Mujhe nahi pata hai sir ye Rancho keedar hai !! Maine kuchh bhi nahi kiye hai... Please believe me sir... I'm innocent....

Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins...

Chatur: (crying with one hand on his cheek) Haan haan... Maine hi khoon kiya tha Joy ka... Kyunki us ne Mechanical Helicopter banaya tha project mein... Aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya tha.... *sob sob* Lekin phir woh Rancho aa gaye... Us ne mujhe dekh liye the... Isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya...

ACP: Waah... Kya plan banaya tha... Lekin afsos... Tum CID ke saamne kaamyaab nahi ho paaye... Ab banaate rehna plan... JAIL me... Tumhe to FAASI hogi FAASI !!

Wassssssssup?

Everyone who follows Good For Nothin.... knows that I, Ankit B. Rathod, is having the most dreadful nightmare in the life of a student (read :: exams) from 19th March (man... just three weeks away !! gotta start studying..). I know I need not mention this again and again. But I'm doing it to make myself aware that exams are approaching, and I need to set my ass on fire NOW !!

Well... every student knows that during exam time, even the most boring stuff seems very interesting. I'm not from Mars or Pluto or for that matter any other planet, and so its normal for me to do the same things as a typical student does during exams. For example - watching TV, even repeat telecasts of shows and games seen before, surfing the net, chatting, etc etc etc.

No wonder I even watched the India versus Pakistan hockey match. But India rocked !! Awesome match it was. And Sandeep Singh was simply brilliant.

Look I told you... During the exams, we like to waste our time... err... ("kill our time" suits better... isn't it?)... we like to kill our time doing the weirdest of the things.

I spend a lot of time on the internet (thanks to my cell manufacturer Nokia for providing me such a nice E63 ! and of course special thanks to my lovely network provider Airtel for reasons not to be mentioned here... ). As I said, I spend a lot of time surfing social networking sites, blogs, commenting, updating my status, and of course, chatting !

In my view, the most difficult question to answer while chatting to a friend is "Wassup??"

Frankly speaking, I never know what to answer. At times, taking the literal meaning of the slang, I stare towards the ceiling for a few seconds and end up with silly answers like fan, wall mounted AC, chandelier, etc. And sometimes, I mention the manufacturer too. Hang on.... hang on !! I'm not as stupid as you guys think !

Well, to the million dollar billion dollar question, WASSSSSSUP? that is, I try a few permutations and combinations based on my mood, the kind of friend I'm talking to, and a few more conditions :

1) Hi. What are you doing?? :)

And the reply I get is : "Chatting with you.... :D... So wassup??"

2) Hi. Had lunch (or breakfast, or dinner, supper etc.)...??

To which I get the reply : "Yup.. So wassup? U had lunch (or breakfast, or dinner, supper etc. ) ?"

If I reply "Yes...", I get this really irritating counter-question "What did you have?"... And I hate to discuss what and how much I eat...

3) Hi. preparing for the exams... (and I send this only during exams...)

For this I get a reply : "Y u always talking abt studies??? itna bhi mat padh yaar... lol :D.. so temme.. wassup??"

These were just a few of them, there are many of these. No matter what you try, you will always be stuck in an infinite loop of "Wassup?"

And after much research over this faltoo, errr... million dollar question, I found out a middle path, which has been a safe path so far (almost !). All I do is say the following GOLDEN words :

NM (short for Nothing Much)... U say... wassup wid u?

And hence, I get out of the infinite loop, leaving the friend stuck in his/her own trap infinite loop of "Wassup?"

:D

Okay... Now you tell me what do you usually reply to "Wassup??"

:)

PS : Studying schedule keeps getting postponed. I guess I really need a pandit to get my studies started as per some muhurat so that I manage to clear my exams. :P

Frustration of a sports lover !

Post-Independence, the only thing that we have done with keen interest is to ruin all our national symbols. Be it national bird, national animal, national monuments, and more recently the national game !

Poachers are killing peacocks and we stay silent. The number of tigers are decreasing day by day. I need not highlight on the condition of the national monuments. And the situation in hockey is not hidden from anyone.

Hockey players had to go on a strike to get their dues back. Just before the world cup, the national hockey team had to strike to get their demands met. And the government is still silent.

Hungry warriors never won any battle. And hungry warriors have always revolted. So did the hockey players. I stand with them. The stand they took is totally justified. I don't understand one simple thing. The government has NO money to save what they call their NATIONAL game? Isn't it shameful that the players who represent the country on the international level are not paid and the bureaucrats enjoy on their expense. Wow ! Welcome to India.

Every sports body is dominated by politicians. Lets take the example of Mr Sharad Pawar. Sorry Mr Pawar, but you being the boss (indirectly) of the richest sports body of the nation had to bear the brunt ! So, Mr Pawar is indirectly the boss of the BCCI. He's set to be the next President of the ICC. So he can not devote his entire time to one thing. He has to take care of his party matters. He has to take care of the BCCI. He has to take care of the Agriculture ministry, So while multitasking, one makes mistakes. And so did Mr Sharad Pawar. He has been in foot-in-mouth situations quite a few times. Recently his 'I-am-not-an-astrologer' remark on the rising prices of commodities had made an impact.

There are numerous examples of politicians in sports. To some extent, its good. But as it is said in Hindi : "अति हर चीज़ की बुरी होती है... ". So my dear netajis, since you guys can't devote your VALUABLE time to the sport, please back off ! And let the former sportsmen come forward and govern the sport. After all, its their cup of tea ! You shouldn't be poking your nose everywhere.

Mr Pawar should either become a full time sports administrator or a full time politician. So that either cricket is benefited or the common man is benefited. You know what I mean. Even the Prime Minister should tell him to concentrate on the ministry to reduce the price of per head thaali of a common man.

I'd like to quote another famous Hindi line over here :

हर शाख पे उल्लू बैठा है, अंजाम-ए-गुलिस्तां क्या होगा...

Actually, this line suits the current scenario. Isn't it?

There was a time when India was numero uno in hockey. There was a time when  players like Major Dhyan Chand were national heroes. But today we ponder over it and only say "there WAS a time". Today is the time when hockey is doomed.

I'll ask you all a few simple questions :

• How many hockey players' names and faces do you remember?
• Who's the current captain of the national hockey team?
  
• Name the last five hockey captains of India.
• When did you last watched a full hockey match? Okay.. add the words "on TV" to this question.

Well, I know 99.99% of the readers won't be able to answer it. But if I replace the word "hockey" with "cricket", everyone would be ready with their answers. There lies the difference. We keenly watch cricket, but we don't have any interest in hockey.

We roared when we watched Indian women's team winning the world cup in "Chak De ! India". But we forgot. And we moved on ! Even Shah Rukh Khan forgot. He went on to buy a team in the IPL, just because he saw his profits there. Why just blame him. Everyone's selfish. You. Me. Everyone !

Well... I got carried away. Sorry for that. But all I meant to say is that its high time. We must wake up ! The least we can do is watch the sport ! And we must cheer our national hockey team.

The hockey players are not beggars. Let them get what they deserve ! If we can't respect our own nation, don't expect others to do the same.

CHAK DE !

The Real Idiot !

'Shut Up !!'

This is what Mr Vidhu Vinod Chopra told one of the journalists at a press conference. For those who don't know the details, Mr Chopra, the producer of much-hyped and successful film '3 Idiots'. And the press conference was held to clariffy the producer's stand on the controversy regarding the credit due to Chetan Bhagat, on whose novel 'Five Point Someone' the film is based.

I have seen the film AND I have read the novel. So as per Chetan, I can comment on the issue. To start with, I was shocked to find the mention of Chetan Bhagat and FPS missing in the credit line. Having seen the whole movie, I can say that 3I is largely (and not loosely, as claimed by the producers) based on FPS - roughly 65-70 per cent. And as Chetan says since the producers were contractually bound to give credit to him, they put the name in the closing credits and that too in such a way that most of the people miss it. (I myself missed it and so did Chetan's mother).

So, the controversy is not over credit, its over the 'placement' of credit. In my view, the way the producers gave credit to Chetan is almost the same as not giving the credit at all. 'Coz most of the viewers missed it. For those who have read FPS, its not difficult to guess that 3I storyline is an adapted version of FPS. But what about those who haven't read FPS? They will obviously think that the story and screenplay belong to Raju Hirani and some Abhijat Joshi. And that's what Chetan was fighting for. And he was fighting this battle on 'twitter', on his blog, and at a later stage on TV news channels.

You might have noticed that I have used the word 'was' in the last two lines of the last paragraph. It is actually 'was', 'coz at this point of time, Chetan Bhagat is considering of compromise with the producers.

It is clear and evident that the 3I story is an adapted version of Chetan Bhagat's bestseller novel FPS. And creating a furore over 'moral rights of the author', the story being adapted from FPS or not, Vidhu Vinod Chopra lambasting a journo, Aamir Khan almost abusing Chetan Bhagat, more importantly Chetan Bhagat discussing the issue publicly and not going to the court, and then all of a sudden all of them getting back to compromise. Now, something seems fishy ! Was it an attempt to generate publicity? I had no idea that if this is true, people like Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Raju Hirani, Aamir Khan and even Chetan Bhagat can stoop this low just for the sake of publicity of an already hit film !

I can not make a comment on what's true and what's not. I am not taking either side. I'm just expressing my views over the issue.

In the end, I feel that none of the three - Vidhu Vinod Chopra, Raju Hirani, Chetan Bhagat - is an idiot. The real idiot is us - the Indian janta... the audience !

So will you still say 'Better be an Idiot than a stupid?'

Rest in Pieces

Well to start with, this article is related to the legendary pop artist Michael Jackson. Sorry I am just not able to grasp that he is now Late Mr. Michael Jackson… thanks to the media!!

To be honest I never listened to his songs. I was just a fan of his dancing and specifically his signature step- MOON WALK!! I am or rather was not a fan of Michael Jackson the king of pop, I was and still am the fan of Michael Jackson the fighter. Michael Jackson for me is a man who struggled, fought and achieved his life, fame and popularity.

He was born on the 29th of August 1958 and on 26th June 2009; he left the worldly peace only to enter a phase of disrupted calm after death! Confused? Most of us might be wondering, what made me think that the living world has peace and that after death calm is destroyed, wherein people always look up to death as a medium to attain peace and relieve themselves from the troubles, worldly pressures , conflicts, etc. Well, what I stated isn’t wrong. Although it doesn’t go with the majority, It is at least true for Michael Jackson.

He is a man who lived his life in front of the cameras, a person who was always involved in controversies, and then may it be anything!! From child abuse to taking drugs, from undergoing 11 plastic surgeries to injuring himself to death (almost), Michael Jackson’s name was associated with everything. I can’t take away his popularity as the most sensational pop artist. As a person who made millions cry over his songs and a person who burnt the stage with hi s tapping feet. His music still live and so does him in it!! This reminds me of an SMS I recently received. It said:

“You are remembered for what you give and what good you do.”

But as far as Michael Jackson is concerned don’t u reckon it should be a bit different. While he was alive he was into news mostly for all the wrong reasons.

When was it that an Indian newspaper bore the announcement of the launch of his new album? Never!!and now, we have people remembering him and his music and paying tribute to him all over the world!! I do not question their sentiments. As far as paying tribute is concerned it is good, it is acceptable but the way media is following Michael Jackson even after his demise is shameful. He may have died because of whatever reason… maybe a drug overdose. FINE!!! Why do the media make it a pain for his family and fans by digging harder and deeper into the matter (than required)? Why are they trying to scrape the already peeled fruit? Questioning the doctors who treated Michael Jackson, and that his ghost was seen by some lady, and that he had a rare skin disease, and that he had a loan of 1 million $ to repay, and that he had divorced his wife because he was not sexually straight, and the media crossed all limits when there were rumors that Michael Jackson is faking his death and has gone into hiding!! What bullshit! What nonsense!!

A man who entertained all, who gave us(most of us) our most treasured collection of music, a man who faced all questions thrown at him, a man who did wrong… accepted it and grew as an artist over the years, deserves some peace in his after life. The priest in the funeral says” may his soul rest in peace forever”. Why do we need to make it difficult for Michael Jackson even after he succumbed to death, he already had a difficult life!! We (read: media) are actually rephrasing it into meaning “may his soul rest in pieces forever!”

Here is a humble request to all… please relieve the king of pop of all the disgraceful and worldly accusations when he is no more a part of it!!

Bits and Pieces - Aftermath of Mumbai Mayhem

I was glued to the TV watching the nail-biting fifth one-dayer between India and England. Flipping the channels was strictly not allowed. The match ended with India's win in the match as well as 5-0 lead in the seven-match series. One step ahead towards a whitewash. After the win, I changed the channel, just to see the news (of over-excitement of Indian news channels) of India's win.

Forget the good news, there was the news of firing at four places in Mumbai. The reporters, initially, tagged it as a gangwar. But i sensed something much much more fishy. A gangwar can not take place at so many places at the same time. Within minutes, the news of a blast at Vile Parle flashed on the screen, affirming my belief of a terror attack.

At that time, the victory in the cricket match looked so very irrelevant. Cricket is not larger than life, not even in India, where it is said to be a religion. IRONICAL !

I didn't even watch the presentation ceremony. All I was doing was flipping between the news channels.

The terrorists had already started firings at the Taj, the Oberoi-Trident, CST, Cama Hospital, Leopold Café.... I couldn't sleep that night, even though I knew that allmy near and dear ones were safe.

Next day, the picture became clearer. Those guys had taken a lot of people as hostages, including foreigners, in the Taj, the Oberoi-Trident and Nariman House. I thought these guys had some demands to make. The news channels were doing LIVE coverage of the rescue operations, something which could've posed a bigger threat since the terrorists might have been watching every move of the security personnel LIVE on the TV.

Bullets. Fire. Grenades. Hostages.

I kept watching silently.

I had seen our Home Minister changing clothes after the blasts in Delhi. And that night I saw him informing the whole world on TV that NSG men are leaving to take on the terrorists. He gave the details. Number of NSG men, what time they would leave and what time they would start the operations.

Thank you Mr Minister. The terrorists were watching you on the TV.

And I was watching it all silently.

That night I also wondered where was Raj Thackeray and his 'brave' men who wanted to save their beloved Mumbai from North Indians. Why was he seen nowhere to save the lives of Mumbaikars? And did he ask the NSG commandoes whether they are from north or south? Or do they speak Marathi? Since the NSG commandos arrived 9 hours later, Raj and his men should have been sent to 'save their Mumbai' in the interim.

Mumbai for Marathis! NO!!! Mumbai belongs to all of us. Attack on Mumbai is attack on India. And that night all the Indians were worried and glued to TV and praying for the safety of hostages. They were not praying for Mumbaikars or Marathis or South Indians or North Indians. They were praying for all the INDIANS.

Even I prayed. I prayed for the well being of those inside, except the terrorists of course.

That night I also read Amitabh Bachhan's blog. Day 218. And I was stuck at the last sentence of the blog.

"Before retiring for the night, I pulled out my licensed .32 revolver,
loaded it and put it under my pillow. For a very disturbed sleep."

Disturbing times indeed.

I am still silent. But I know its time to speak up. Speak up and ask our damn good-for-nothing politicians and administrators how long they are going to cage us in fear and insecurity?Speak up and ask why don't we have a leader who can come out and say YES WE CAN !

We were tired of waking up each morning to the news of terror attack in some or the other part of the country, at least I was. I needed some result. Some damn result !

The Oberoi-Trident was cleared by evening and Nariman House by night. But the terrorists were still playing hide-and-seek with the security forces at the Taj. The Taj was cleared by next morning, thus ending the biggest terror attack on India in 59 hours. By late evening, it was found out that they were just 10 terrorists who carried out the inhuman act.

This was an example what a few 20-somethings can do. These 10 guys halted the world's largest democracy, the world's future superpower.

All of us are tired. Tired of facing terror attacks. Tired of the reports of the insensitive media. Tired of trusting people. Tired of being helpless. As a friend put it,

Why we, the youth of India, can't do a fucking thing to change the
fucking system at the moment?

I still sometimes wonder that why do Indians fight with other Indians in the name of caste, language, race, etc instead of fighting the motherfucker enemies of the country.

The aftermath of terror attack was something even more painful than the attack itself. With the media trying to reach everywhere, even at the cremation grounds and at houses of the martyrs, its much much more painful to see someone's funeral LIVE on the bloody idiot-box, and its even more painful to see the state of the kins of the deceased. The media fraternity (as they call themselves) must STOP doing such a crap. Just for the sake of your viewership, you guys are making commercial use of something like DEATH.


Another aftermath took in the political circles with Shivraj Patil (coincidentally from Maharashtra) vacating the post of Home Minister. He resigned taking the moral responsibility of the attacks. P Chidambaram is given the Home portfolio while the Finance portfolio (earlier held by P Chidambaram) will now be held by the PM himself.


Well much said about the good-for-nothing politicians and of course the insensitive media. Its time to end this post. But before ending, I would like to mention a message, which reads like this :

Forgiving the terrorists is left to God. But fixing their
appointment with God is our responsibility.

- INDIAN ARMY

Kyunki.... it was sooooo BORING !!!

Kyunki.... it was sooooooooo BORING.....


Kyunki.... the plot was always UNREAL !!!


Kyunki.... it was TORTURING the viewers (mostly males...) from EIGHT long years....


Kyunki.... BAA was almost 300 years old.... almost IMMORTAL !!!


Kyunki.... TULSI wasn't really the IDEAL BAHU....

These are just a few of the answers of the question :

"WHY... WHY.... WHY.. WHY DID THEY STOPPED AIRING 'KYUNKI SAAS BHI KABHI BAHU THI'???"

By now, you must have understood that I wasn't a big fan of the mega sob-soap with almost a kilometre long name.... Calling it a SOB-SOAP won't be wrong.... I can hear people saying 'YES'.... Guys ! This show has been on the idiot-box for more than ONE-THIRD of my life (till now !!)..... Yes, KSBKBT (short for :: Kyunki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi..... wow !! more than a kilometre...) has been on air since July 2000 with 1800-plus episodes been aired..... Balaji Telefilms became a mega production house with the success of this soap opera.... I'm glad that this has ended.... Really !!!

November 6, 2008 would be remembered as the Independence (from the mega Saas-Bahu Sob Saga) Day in Indian Idiot-Box Industry (read :: Indian TV Industry)... This serial was the seed of all the Saas-Bahu serials on TV today.....

Ekta Kapoor called it her 'CONCEPT' !!! Huh...!

In most of the Indian homes, the War-For-Remote will end now.... This show gained popularity since it was first aired.... and the protagonist Tulsi and the Gujjus (read :: Gujaratis) from the Virani family became household names....

Ekta Kapoor believes in re-birth.... This show was the first where she tried the 'RE-BIRTH' formula.... With the death of Mihir Virani, there was uproar in Indian households.... The ladies cried for days.... (CRAP !!!) And eventually Ekta had to change the plot of the serial..... Then she used this formula in almost every other soap several times....

Viewers were bored of this sob-saga... and the TRPs were at all time low.... So Star Plus, the channel which aired it, decided to terminate the airing of KSBKBT !!! Ekta and Balaji Telefilms (the production house) challenged the decision in Mumbai High Court.... The Honorable Court upheld the channel's decision (Thankfully...!!!)

Adios Tulsi.... Adios BAA... Adios Virani Family.... Adios SOBS n TEARS !!!

Hoping to see something FRESH on the IDIOT-BOX (yes.... you guess it right... TV) !!!