Nightmare.... Errr.... Exams....

Hey guys,

Presenting to you, yet another post starting with apology... lolz... Sorry for not being able to post.... But I have a valid reason for this... and that being my EXAMINATIONS !!!

Examinations - every student's nightmare (nerds and geeks are class apart... they don't fall in the category of "students"). My nightmare (read :: exams) began on 19th March and will continue till 8th April. *sob sob*. And to add to my woes, I have to write an exam on my birthday too. :'(

Ye university waale bhi naa jaane kaun se janam ki dushmani nikaal rahe hain.... Huh !

Lets talk about something from the past. Don't worry I'm not going to bug you people by posting a chapter picked up directly from some History text book. I'm just going 5 days behind.

My first paper, COSM (for the over enthusiasts :: Computer Oriented Statistical Methods), was an awesome paper. I completed the paper in less than the half time ! And then went on to attempt two extra questions ! I love mathematics and statistics and of course, it was my love that was dripping from the paper ;)

And my second paper, SAD (again, the over enthusiasts looking for the complete name... naam hi SAD hai, to full form kyun puch rahe ho?... Anyways its System Analysis & Design), was a horrible one !! COSM jitna achha gaya, SAD utna hi bekaar... SAD was the paper that actually lived up to its name ! Huh :(

The SAD (or should I say the SADdest) question paper had questions related to the topics that I hadn't studied properly. And the topics which I studied had barely managed to be a part of the paper ! And to add to my tragic situation, I was unwell the day before the exam, plus had a lot of guests at home !! Padhai hui nahi... Paper kaise achha jaata... :(

Actually, to some extent, even I'm responsible for the SAD disaster. I always believed in last minute studying. And it always (almost always) worked for me. And this time... dhokha de diya... Although SAD was a sad and boring subject, but I would have fared better had I studied it earlier at least once.

Abb pachhtaye ka hot hai jab chidiya chug gayi khet !

I wish I had an "F5" button somewhere in my body, so that I could refresh my mood whenever I felt like. But alas ! although we work like machines, we still are human beings.

2 down... 4 more to go... including 1 on the day I came down to earth.... (uss din ko toh holiday hona chahiye yaar... :p)

Anyways, getting back to studies... Wish me luck guys... :)

----------------
Sent from my Nokia E63

CID-iots

Guys, guys and girls ! (Now that the Women's Reservation Bill has been passed in the Rajya Sabha, I'm trying to get used to 33% reservation for women...)

 

It gives me a great pleasure announcing the news that "Good For Nothin..." is foraying into a new business... And that's film making.

Yes, we're entering the showbiz ! But, before we invest our hard earned money into this very risky business, I thought of having an opinion about the script of my first film from you !

Isn't that great??? I know it is...

I grew up watching the super awesome crime show CID ! And more recently, the film 3 Idiots left a huge impact on my small mind (you can even put it in your pocket...). So, I had a thought that both of these had to be in my first film.

A few days ago, I came across a script, on Facebook, from a guy who did not want to be named. I've told him to pop up and claim credit for the story at the time of the release of the film, just as Chetan Bhagat did, so that the movie can get some free publicity. So I made a few changes to the script. I'm posting the script here. Please leave your comments on it. Whether I should go with the script or the script sucks, you can say anything. Please feel free to give suggestions, if any...

And yes, I've designed a poster too...

Here it is...

Starring : ACP Pradyumn, Daya and Abhijeet in and as CID-iots (CID + 3 Idiots)

Supporting Cast : Fredericks, Dr. Salunkhe, Vivek, Chatur, Virus aka Viru Sahastrabuddhe, etc

Script : Unknown FB guy and Ankit B. Rathod

Music : talks on with Anu Malik and Preetam. We'll finalise the one who can give us the most 'inspired' music at the cheapest rates.

Director : Ankit B. Rathod

Producer : Good For Nothin....

And, here goes the script...

* * * * * * * * * *   CID-iots  Script   -   First   Draft   * * * * * * * * * *

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call the world famous CID.

ACP Pradyumn : OHH MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya... Campus ko achhi tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !! (Shaking his finger)

After searching the campus like a pair of buffoons, Abhijeet and Daya find out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years ago in the campus...

Abhijeet: Sir, Maamla gadbad hai...Yaha kisi Joy Lobo naam ke student ne aatma-hatya ki thi... 4 saal pehle... Lagta hai woh aatma-hatya nahi, khoon tha... Aur shayad khooni yeh Rancho hi hoga !!!

ACP: OHH MY GODD !!! Abhijeet, Daya... Ek kaam karo... Ye Joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikaalo... Aur usey Forensic Lab mein leke aao... Dr. Salunkhe zaroor koi naa koi baat ugalva lenge is murde aadmi se !!

Fredericks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of Joy...

And the next scene is of the Forensic Lab...

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahut jaldi laash le aaye tum... Is se kuch bulvaana mushkil hoga... Lekin tum tension mat lo... Tum Dr. Salunkhe ki lab se khaali haath wapas nahi jaaoge... Koi naa koi raaz to pata chal hi jayega...

After playing with some colour changing liquids...

Dr. Salunkhe: BOSS... Tum ne kaha is ki maut suicide se hui hai... Main kehta hoon is ka khoon hua hai !!

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Ye mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!... Ye kaise ho sakta hai??

Salunkhe: BOSS... Sab kuch mumkin hai !! Ye dekho...

(shows him his star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)

ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger).... To phir yeh baat humein kisi ne batayi kyun nahi??? Ek kaam karo... Uss principal ko yahaan leke aao Bureau mein... Ab kya sach hai, wohi humein batayega !!

Virus is brought to the Bureau...

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai... Maine kuch nahi kiya...

Abhijeet: Sach sach batao... Us raat campus mein kya hua tha???

Virus: Ssssir, main sssach bol raha hoon... Mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??

Daya takes over and gives him a dose of his special world famous CHAMAAAT !!!

Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad aa gaya... Batata hoon... Sab batata hoon !

Fredericks: (constipated look) Sir... Daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu hai... Is ka 'sssss' karna band ho gaya...

ACP: Fredericks... Chup raho !!

Virus: Uss raat sab logo ne Gay Party ki thi.... Sab log apni underwear mein campus mein ghoom rahe the.... Main bhi tha... Lekin mere saath koi flirt hi nahi kar raha tha... Isliye main bahut gusse mein tha... Phir Joy aaya aur usne mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya... Maine us ka helicopter dust bin mein fek diya.. To wo rote-rote apne room mein chala gaya... Aur next din hum ne dekha to uska murder ho gaya tha... Lekin aap please ye baat kisi se boliye mat... College ki badnaami ho jayegi...

ACP: Hum kisi ko nahi batayenge... Tum humare saath co-operate karo...

Virus leaves...

ACP: Yahaan kuch to gadbad hai Daya.... Aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus mein khoon ho gaya aur kisi ne CID ko bulaya hi nahi?? Apna publicity ka kharcha badha do....

Abhijeet: Sir, ye college mein padhe-likhe log hain... Shayad in logo ko pata hai ki pehle Police ko bulaana chahiye, CID ko nahi !!

ACP: Aur ye kaise hua ki khooni campus mein aa gaya.... Aur campus se khoon kar ke nikal bhi gaya??

Vivek : Sir, shayad ye bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

ACP: Haan Vivek... Kuchh bhi ho sakta hai... Kuchh bhi... (shaking his finger)... Ek kaam karo Abhijeet... Phir se campus mein chalte hain... Aur achhi tarah se check karte hain... Yahaan daal mein zaroor kuchh kaala hai !!

Abhijeet: Sir, daal mein kaala nahi, poori daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!

They reach the campus in their old faithful Toyota Qualis which changes colour every episode... But the number plate is still the same... And Daya slams the breaks...

SCCRREEEECH !!

ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum poora campus CHECK KARO.... Daya ,tum is campus ke saare DARWAAZE TOD DO....!! Fredericks, tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se entertain karo... Aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hoon.... Chalo sab apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!

After checking the campus...

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aaiye.... Ye dekho.... Ye ek Chatur Ramalingam naam ke ladke ki diary mili hai sir... Is mein likha hai ki wo aur Rancho ek doosre ke dushman the... Aur wo Rancho se badla lena chahta tha !!

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)... OHH MY GODD !!! Ab ye Chatur kaun hai...?? Aur iske room se itni badbu kyun aa rahi hai...?? Good work Vivek...! Is evidence ko forensic lab le jao !

Abhijeet: Haaiinn !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai... Shayad is Chatur ne hi Joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! Aur Rancho kahaan gaya, ye bhi usey hi pata hoga !!

ACP: To bulao is Chatur ko Bureau mein... Is se hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!

Chatur in interrogation...

ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !! Main us ke baare mein kuchh nahi jaanti....

Abhijeet: Dekho... Sach sach bataao !! Humein tumhari ye diary mili hai... Wo bhi tumhare room se... Ye diary to pehchante ho naa tum?? Is mein saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhe Rancho se jalan thi...

Chatur : (over-acting)... Ye diary meri hi hai... Mujhe nahi pata hai sir ye Rancho keedar hai !! Maine kuchh bhi nahi kiye hai... Please believe me sir... I'm innocent....

Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins...

Chatur: (crying with one hand on his cheek) Haan haan... Maine hi khoon kiya tha Joy ka... Kyunki us ne Mechanical Helicopter banaya tha project mein... Aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya tha.... *sob sob* Lekin phir woh Rancho aa gaye... Us ne mujhe dekh liye the... Isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya...

ACP: Waah... Kya plan banaya tha... Lekin afsos... Tum CID ke saamne kaamyaab nahi ho paaye... Ab banaate rehna plan... JAIL me... Tumhe to FAASI hogi FAASI !!

Wassssssssup?

Everyone who follows Good For Nothin.... knows that I, Ankit B. Rathod, is having the most dreadful nightmare in the life of a student (read :: exams) from 19th March (man... just three weeks away !! gotta start studying..). I know I need not mention this again and again. But I'm doing it to make myself aware that exams are approaching, and I need to set my ass on fire NOW !!

Well... every student knows that during exam time, even the most boring stuff seems very interesting. I'm not from Mars or Pluto or for that matter any other planet, and so its normal for me to do the same things as a typical student does during exams. For example - watching TV, even repeat telecasts of shows and games seen before, surfing the net, chatting, etc etc etc.

No wonder I even watched the India versus Pakistan hockey match. But India rocked !! Awesome match it was. And Sandeep Singh was simply brilliant.

Look I told you... During the exams, we like to waste our time... err... ("kill our time" suits better... isn't it?)... we like to kill our time doing the weirdest of the things.

I spend a lot of time on the internet (thanks to my cell manufacturer Nokia for providing me such a nice E63 ! and of course special thanks to my lovely network provider Airtel for reasons not to be mentioned here... ). As I said, I spend a lot of time surfing social networking sites, blogs, commenting, updating my status, and of course, chatting !

In my view, the most difficult question to answer while chatting to a friend is "Wassup??"

Frankly speaking, I never know what to answer. At times, taking the literal meaning of the slang, I stare towards the ceiling for a few seconds and end up with silly answers like fan, wall mounted AC, chandelier, etc. And sometimes, I mention the manufacturer too. Hang on.... hang on !! I'm not as stupid as you guys think !

Well, to the million dollar billion dollar question, WASSSSSSUP? that is, I try a few permutations and combinations based on my mood, the kind of friend I'm talking to, and a few more conditions :

1) Hi. What are you doing?? :)

And the reply I get is : "Chatting with you.... :D... So wassup??"

2) Hi. Had lunch (or breakfast, or dinner, supper etc.)...??

To which I get the reply : "Yup.. So wassup? U had lunch (or breakfast, or dinner, supper etc. ) ?"

If I reply "Yes...", I get this really irritating counter-question "What did you have?"... And I hate to discuss what and how much I eat...

3) Hi. preparing for the exams... (and I send this only during exams...)

For this I get a reply : "Y u always talking abt studies??? itna bhi mat padh yaar... lol :D.. so temme.. wassup??"

These were just a few of them, there are many of these. No matter what you try, you will always be stuck in an infinite loop of "Wassup?"

And after much research over this faltoo, errr... million dollar question, I found out a middle path, which has been a safe path so far (almost !). All I do is say the following GOLDEN words :

NM (short for Nothing Much)... U say... wassup wid u?

And hence, I get out of the infinite loop, leaving the friend stuck in his/her own trap infinite loop of "Wassup?"

:D

Okay... Now you tell me what do you usually reply to "Wassup??"

:)

PS : Studying schedule keeps getting postponed. I guess I really need a pandit to get my studies started as per some muhurat so that I manage to clear my exams. :P