Main Kasab Ban Jaaunga

I know.... I know you all are missing me... and my posts, of course ! Well, I was busy with my exam preparations. Yes, MBA has semester pattern... Matlab university waalo ko saal mein 2 mauke milte hain humaari beizzati karne ke !!

And this one is not my original creation. I read it on Facebook. I liked it very much. Yes ! Its a poem. It is a Hindi poem originally titled "A poem by unemployed youth of India", but I feel this poem not just reflects the sentiments of unemployed youth, but it is a mirror of general Indian sentiments. 

Here you go !

माँ मुझे एक बंदूक दे दे

मै कसाब बन जाऊँगा

दो चार मंत्री को मार

रोज कबाब मै खाऊँगा

यहाँ तो इक चादर भी नहीं

वहाँ नरम बिछौना पाऊँगा

दिन रात मै जागूँ यहाँ

वहाँ चैन की नींद सो जाऊँगा

यहाँ मिले गाली और घूंसा

यहाँ रोज मार मै खाऊँगा

वहाँ मुझे छिंक भी आये

तुरंत दवाई मै पाऊँगा

घर की सूखी रोटी से तो अच्छा

रोज बिरयानी खाऊंगा

और जब मैं अदालत में जाऊ

तो मंद मंद मुस्कराऊंगा

मुझे देख भारतवासी गुस्से से तिलमिलाए

तो उनकी किस्मत पर तरस खाऊंगा

फिर देना जब जनम मुझे

मै ऐसा भाग न पाऊँगा

माँ मुझे एक बंदूक दे दे

मै कसाब बन जाऊँगा

I do not preach violence or killings. But the fact that a bloody terrorist is enjoying the Indian hospitality rather than being hanged hurts me a lot. Kasab is the safest man in India. And we, the citizens of India, are still unsafe !

Thodi kahi, zyaada samajhna !

Such is life.

PS: If the Government of India is citing silly reasons like shortage of hangmen, I would love to play a hangman for Kasab ! Kasam se....

Two Dozenth Birthday

Birthday - A day, which comes once a year (unless of course you celebrate "fake" birthdays), for which we wait for days, weeks and months, a day which passes by with lightening speed, a day when you were dropped on the earth, a day when you feel special (or in case, you always feel special, this is a day when you feel extra special) !

Yesterday was my two dozenth birthday (i prefer it 'coz 24 seems a bigger number than 2 dozen) and it was made special by some great friends of mine !

Frankly speaking, I was not that excited for my birthday on the evening prior to it, since it was probably my first birthday away from my family. However (yes, I am an MBA-student, and its kind of offending to use "but") the day was made special by some special people around me.

Although I couldn't maintain a record of all the people who wished me throughout the day, but I will mention the names of some really great friends who made this day indeed very special, namely Kamlesh, Pratik, Vijay, Tarun, Garima, Swati, Aarzoo, Seema, Khushi, etc among the few :) You guys made my day !!

Besides these friends, almost all my family members and friends wished me throughout the day and made my birthday really special one. The number of birthday wishes I got made me think for a while that I'm really growing 'old' !!! :P

My prankster buddy Kamlesh Parihar, whom I gifted a matka (clay pot) for his birthday, compensated my gesture by gifting me a really big watermelon carefully gift-packed exactly when the clock struck 12, and later a pair of "keyboard chappals" :) Thanks buddy !! I loved them both :)

Key Board Chappals or KBC

Moreover, the biggest surprise on my birthday came from my blog, Good For Nothin', which crossed the 1,00,000 pageviews milestone on my birthday. What a coincidence !!

Last but not the least, a few really great friends who missed to wish me on my birthday also deserve to be mentioned in the post. I never thought that they could forget my birthday, ever ! But as they say, Life mein bahut kuchh first time hota hai maamu !

Leaving you all with the two lovely cakes that I had cut on my birthday, but alas, I couldn't save it for you, as they were so tempting that I couldn't resist finishing them off !

The IRRESISTIBLE Cakes !!

Better luck next time guys !

Complaints, Excuses And More !

Well, I know, most of my readers don't even care that a blogger named Ankit B. Rathod ever existed. A lot of them might have wiped out Good For Nothin' out of their memories. But, but, but... I'm a phoenix, who rises from its own ashes (for those who need a citation, click here). I will always come back from a sabbatical, like this.

Actually, kabhi kabhi mujhe achanak se bhoot chadh jaata hai blog likhne ka. And probably, that's the reason why I can't give up blogging completely despite being busier than an Ambani. :P

Being very less frequent on the bloggerdom is my only weakness. And this time, seriously I'm working on to overcome it. My last post was on Nov 26, 2011 and today is Mar 07, 2012. That's exactly 3 months 10 days or simply put, its 102 days. Yayyyy !! I've hit a century !!! I should be happy, its my first century ever. Cricket mein to kabhi century maari nahi, blog pe hi sahi ! Well, don't worry, this is probably my first and last century ever !

Of late, I've been listening to a lot of complaints about myself. If I were in school, I could've been thrown out of the school considering the number of complaints I'm getting ! And being a true Indian by heart, we don't accept complaints against us that easily. We have excuses for almost everything ! Even if someone complains about Team India's poor performance down under, a true Indian fan would have something to blame on - the one less ball that wasn't bowled in the tied match against Sri Lanka. :P

Coming back from the larger perspective to a relatively smaller one, I'm gonna enlist a few of the complaints that people make against me, and the excuses that I give, and some more mirrch masaala. :P

Don't worry,  I won't enlist all of them in the post, nahi to jitne bache khuche readers hai wo bhi padhna chhod denge !

Complaint :

Aaj kal message nahi karta. Pehle to roz subah tera message aa jaata tha. Ab kya ho gaya hai?

Excuse :

Arre yaar, I've stopped messaging everyone ever since I lost my Nokia E63 (more than a year ago, on the onset of 2011 !). Us phone mein mera saara message ka collection chala gaya. And then I took HTC Wildfire. The phone is good, but its really a pain to send group messages in that phone.

And More :

The account that I gave is totally true. And this is one of the genuine reasons that I have stopped sending SMSes to everyone. Other genuine reasons not to be disclosed. ;)

Complaint :

Oye... tu blog likhta tha naa.... Kaafi din se tere updates nahi aa rahe hain... All well naa?

Excuse :

Ya... Of course, all is well. Blog to mera abhi bhi hai, but us pe post karne ka time nahi milta. Jab se ye MBA start hua hai naa, bahut zyaada busy ho gaya hoon... saans lene ki bhi fursat badi mushkil se milti hai.

And More :

Somewhat true ! :P

Complaint : 

No tweets for so long ! Pehle to teri twitter updates se pareshaan ho jaate the.

Excuse : 

Ye hi soch ke maine twitter use karna band kar diya. Wo kya hai naa, mujh se tumhari takleef dekhi nahi gayi !

And More :

Dude, if you think you're sarcastic, think again ! Sarcasm mein main tumhaara BAAP hoon ! :P

Complaint :

Mota ho raha hai !

Excuse :

To us mein bhi takleef hai tumhe? Pehle patla tha to kehte the kitna patla hai, ab mota hua to kehte ho mota kyun hai !!!! Complain karna kab chhodoge?

And More :

Its true ! Main mota ho raha hoon !! :(

Complaint :

Tu kitna travel karta hai? Bore nahi ho jaata kya itna travel kar ke?? Kabhi Pune, kabhi Mumbai, kabhi Falna.... Ek jagah to tere pair tikte hi nahi hain... Bhatakti aatma hai kya?

Excuse :

I love to travel ! And ghar pe jaane mein main bilkul bhi bore nahi hota :) Well, you can call me a bhatakti aatma, but a nomad would be a better word ! :P

And More :

Contrary to the excuse that I present, I don't love travelling that much, but its the destination that excites me more. Ghar jaane ke liye to mujhe aadhi raat ko neend mein se jaga ke bhi bologe to bhi I'm ready !

Complaint :

Less Facebook, Even lesser blog posts, Almost nil tweets? Kitna badal gaya insaan....

Excuse :

Actually wo kya hai naa ke mujhe ab gyaan ki praapti ho gayi hai... Ye sab moh maaya hai ! Aur main in ka tyaag karne ki koshish kar raha hoon.

And More :

Told you, I'm Sarcasm ki dukaan ! :P

Well, these were just a few. Agar sab likhne baith jaaunga to shaam to idhar hi ho jaayegi. Plus I have a lot of other things in my priority list. :)

People will never stop complaining. You just have to be more creative in the excuses that you present. That's what I'm trying to do !

Such is life !

Jab We Met !

November 15, 2011.


Phew... What a morning it was !!!!


Was at my Mamaji's place since last two days. Actually, I was about to return to my PG yesterday, but due to the tiring outing at RutuGandh Resort, Panshet (near Pune), I couldn't. I stayed back and rested one more day. Woke up early morning today to catch a bus to Pimpri, where I am normally put. Reached the bus stop. Boarded the wrong bus. Alighted at Shivaji Nagar to catch another bus to Pimpri. And an unusual series of event occured.


Well... Yes, it was UNUSUAL ! The title of the post might give you a feeling that its gonna be a love story type post. But alas ! It wasn't... :P


I boarded the (correct) bus to my destination. The bus was relatively empty than the usual bus that I boarded. Ninety-nine percent of the girls here in Pune move around with their faces covered, irrespective of whether they look good or not. They cover their faces with just their eyes visible. Sometimes I wonder whether I am living in Pune of some part of Afghanistan under the rule of Taliban. Well, coming back from the world tour to Pune. In the bus, I spotted a few heads covered the way I mentioned above. I wasn't checking them out, I was just searching for a seat. I sat on one of the vacant seats.


The head on the seat in front of me was also covered in the same way. But there was something unusual in it. And yes, it was a guy. I thought he might be a patient, that is why he has put a robe on the face. But no, I was wrong. Within minutes I found out that he wasn't a GUY, but a GAY !


This is how JAB WE MET unfolds.... :P


In a short bus journey of about 25 minutes, he (or she) showed various mannerisms that confirmed everyone's doubt of him being a 'doubtful case'. There were people who were making fun of him. And I guess, even he was enjoying it.


In a few minutes, he turned around and saw me. The words that he uttered filled me with disgust. He said, "Hi sexy ! Looking very nice." He said this not in a low voice, but a voice audible well enough. I mumbled "What The EFFF !", but then I avoided him. He then turned to an uncle sitting besides me and said something in Marathi, which I could not understand.


By this time, all the seats were full, except the one next to him. So there wasn't any chance of changing the seat. I opted to listen to music with my headphones on, and avoid him or her or whatever it was !


More people were boarding the bus as it moved on. A lot of people were waving hands at him and talking to him. This made me think that he might be a regular in that bus. But it was an unusual experience. After a few stops, one more college going boy boarded the bus, and finding no other seat, sat on the seat next to him, not noticing him.


After he noticed who he was sitting with, he moved away from him, just sitting on one-fourth of the seat uncomfortably with at least a foot of gap between them.


I alighted at my destination after a few stops. And the bus was gone in a matter of few seconds.


Such is life !


PS: Although I don't have a problem with gays, but I feel disgusted when a guy calls me sexy and talks to me like this.

2010 - Tussi jaa rahe ho.... ;)

After reading the title, you might call it a 'filmy' post. But it isn't... Actually even I have no idea what I am going to write in this post. Still, I'm gonna complete and publish it ;)

Actually, of late, I've been very LAZY (yes... you can say that) to devote time to my blog. But I don't know, I'm not able to find something interesting to write. I, myself, have been a bit bored of posting poems one after the other. And I am very much aware that less frequent posting, GFN has lost some valued readers. It is very much evident from the (decreased number of) comments on the (rarely published) posts.

2010 - a year full of ups and downs. Generally talking, a lot of scams came up in this year. I've lost the count !! And since I don't even remember the number of scams, there's no point in starting what I do the best - government bashing !! So, dear Dr Manmohan Singh ji (indirectly Sonia-ji Gandhi-ji Madam-ji), you're safe, at least from my side.

On the personal front too, 2010 has been a year to remember. With a lots of ups and downs, 2010 will always have a special place. 2010 has been good, bad, and also very good for me. I won't enlist all the incidents, not that I don't remember them, but I don't wanna "share" them... :P

Abb aur kya bacha???

New Year Resolution??? Naah... Koi matlab nahi hai yaar... Almost all resolutions made on the New Year are either broken or forgotten within the first four months. So, New Year Resolution is a strict no-no !! I remember myself and my co-blogger Garima Ranawat made a resolution last year to update GFN more frequently. But hua ekdum ulta... Our posting frequency decreased a lot !! So, promise karne ka hi nahi... ;)

Last four months of 2010 have brought some mixed feelings for me - from very very good to some bad moments !! Still, getting a bit filmy, I'll say "2010... Tussi jaa rahe ho?? Tussi naa jaao...." (with the same innocence as Farzaan Dastur in Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai...) :P

Wishing a very very Happy New Year to all my readers, I'd like to conclude this post. May the forthcoming year 2011 be one of the bestEST in your lives. Cheers !!! Celebrate & Rejoice !!

So where's the PAAAARTTYYYYY !!!

Dear 2011... Welcome hai jiii... 

Be-CAR ki Dilemma !

Folks, I don't know whether this news falls under the category of a "good news" or a "bad news"... I couldn't decide. So I leave it up to you to decide...

The Tata Indigo (recently nicknamed : The Truck!) that I had is now not mine !! Yes, I've sold it off... Although I've been very possessive of my stuff. I've remained upset when I sold my beloved Nokia N72 cell phone (click here for more details regarding this), but this was a totally different ball game. I was happy that its sold. And I am, still. And there are some unmentionable reasons behind this happiness... Samajhdaar ko ishaara hi kaafi hai... :P

And I'm now be-CAR (for those who couldn't understand, wait till the end of the post !). And decision making is one of the toughest job on the planet, especially when all the choices are equally good. And the cars in contention are (in increasing order of prices) :

1. Maruti Suzuki Alto : just for the sake of having an option
2. Maruti Suzuki Alto K10 : almost zeroed in on this one, but then the Chevy exec gave me a test drive of the next two cars
3. Chevrolet Spark : although a bit old, still a great package!
4. Chevrolet Beat : wasn't an option earlier, but the test drive made it a tempting option

So far I'm considering these four options. Although some people also suggested me the following cars. But I rejected them for the reasons mentioned :

1. Hyundai Santro Xing : pretty old and stale, even the new model doesn't offer new features.
2. Maruti Suzuki Estilo : just don't like the model and the dabba-looks
3. Maruti Suzuki WagonR : another dabba-looking car

And now I'm in a dilemma so as to which car should I finalise !

Decisions... Decisions... Decisions... I'm not that good at it ! :(

Dear God, please intervene and make things easier for me ! May be you can use an aakashvaani to enlighten me... ;)

I'd like to mention one more thing, I have not considered any cars from Tata. And its only coz if I wanted another 'truck', I wouldn't have sold the one that I already had ! Again, samajhdaar ko ishaara hi kaafi hai ! :)

PS : For those who didn't understand the meaning of be-CAR, its being without car. Go learn some Hindi. And those who know Hindi, try and learn how to apply a li'l bit of your brains !

Ayodhya

Ayodhya - the word itself revokes many memories - Ram Janmbhoomi, Babri Masjid, 6th Dec 1992, and the communal violence after that are amongst the few.

But Ayodhya dispute isn't that fresh. Its been there for decades. And whatever happened on 6th Dec 1992 can be termed as 'fresh'. The case over the title of the 'disputed' land has been there in the courts for more than 50 years.

And the judgement in this case will most probably be delivered on 24th Sep 2010. Yes, that's less than a week away. The government has appealed to maintain law and order and peace after the judgement is delivered. Now I realise how helpless the government is !!

Whatever the judgement is, it shouldn't be taken as a win or loss for any of the communities - be it Hindus or Muslims. Even if the case is delivered in any party's favour, there should not be any celebrations nor there should be any hatred. It should be taken as the win of the law of the nation.

A peaceful approach in this matter is what is the need of the hour. We don't need more communal clashes. In fact, we can't afford it. I hereby appeal through my blog, to maintain peace to each and everyone.

Let there be peace. Amen.

Rajinikanth Rocks ! - version 2.0

RAJINIKANTH is back... A few more reasons why Rajinikanth is undisputedly the number one !

1. Rajinikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.
2. Rajinikanth can drown a fish.
3. The last digit of pi is Rajinikanth. He is the end of all things.
4. Rajinikanth got small pox when he was a kid. As a result small pox is now eradicated.
5. Words like awesomeness, brilliance, legendary etc. were added to the dictionary in the year 1949. That was the year Rajinikanth was born.
6. Rajinikanth sneezed only once in his entire life, that's when the tsunami occurred in the Indian ocean.
7. Where there is a will, there is a way. Where there is Rajinikanth, there is no other way.
8. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Rajinikanth.
9. Rajinikanth proves Newton wrong all the time. Every time he performs an action, he simply eliminates anything and everything that can provide the reaction.
10. Archaeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajinikanth”.
11. Rajinikanth killed the Dead Sea.
12. Rajinikanth did in fact, build Rome in a day.
13. Rajinikanth kills Harry Potter in the eighth book.
14. The last time Rajinikanth killed someone, he slapped himself to do it. The other guy just disintegrated. Resonance.
15. Osama Bin Laden is hiding in Afghanistan not because of fear of America but because of fear of Rajinikanth (Actually Rajinikanth caught Osama twice but set him free because Rajinikanth hates America)
16. Rajinikanth taught Michael Jackson how to dance.
17. Pakistan attacked India 3 times.... Not because they wanted Kashmir but beacause they want Rajinikanth... (All the 3 times Rajinikanth alone saved India)
18. Bruce Lee and Mohammed Ali were champions in their sports because they never faced Rajinikanth.
19.  Second world war stopped because Rajinikanth threatened to step in and destroy all nations if they don't stop.
20. If a person says most destructive weapon in Nuclear Bomb it means he has never met Rajinikanth.

[ courtesy : Shashank Chorge ]

Happy Independence Day !

August 15 - its not just a day in a calendar, its an occassion...

India - its not just a country that I live in, its a way of living.

Independence - its not just a word, its a feeling.

Freedom - its much MUCH more that what it actually means.

To me, August 15 is a day of pride, its a day of feeling superior. Its a day when our country came into existence. I am proud of being born as an Indian. I am proud to be a part of a nation with such a rich cultural heritage. I love India. :)

Happy Independence Day to all the readers. Don't just take it as a holiday, feel blessed to be independent. Celebrate your freedom. Celebrate the sense of independence.

Jai Hind ! Vande Mataram !

Raajneeti - Movie Review

Prakash Jha's latest multi-starrer, Raajneeti, is a movie that tries to portray the current political scenario in India. It tries to highlight that politics is now all about money, mind games, dirt and filth !

Prakash Jha has intelligently mixed up a few tried and tested formulae and presented a new dish to the audience. Raajneeti is nothing but a multi-starrer khichdi.

1. The Mahabharata angle:

A major chunk of Raajneeti comes from the epic Mahabharata. If anyone has seen Raajneeti, almost every character has been modelled on some or the other character from the epic.

Ranbir Kapoor's role is based on Arjun who is the key character in Jha's Raajneeti. He is guided by Nana Patekar, whose role is based on Krishna, who guides Arjun (Ranbir) throughout the film. Arjun Rampal's role is modelled on Yudhishthir. Rampal has a soft corner for females while Yudhishthir had a soft corner for gambling. Manoj Bajpai is the Duryodhan. Ajay Devgn (yes, its Devgn, and not Devgan) is the Karna of the film, Arjun and Ranbir's half brother who joins Bajpai's side. Katrina Kaif is almost like Draupadi, torn between Ranbir and Arjun. And not to mention, the whole story has lots of ups and downs like the grand epic Mahabharata.

2. The Godfather angle:

Some of the scenes seem to have been directly taken from the Hollywood flick Godfather. The influence of Godfather on Raajneeti is clearly evident.

3. The Sonia Gandhi angle:

Although the film makers deny this, the politician look (which comes in the end) of Katrina Kaif is clearly based on Sonia Gandhi. The look, the dressing, the gestures, expressions, all of them give an impression of Sonia Gandhi. This angle was added to give the film some unwanted publicity (read :: controversy). But the speech that Katrina Kaif delivers in her maiden political rally seems to be fake. It somehow doesn't give a genuine feel. Audience can not connect to her as a leader. Most of the exhibitors were laughing (or giggling) at that speech.

4. Love Sex aur Dhokha angle:

Politics is all about love for the 'kursi' or power, sex and betrayal. And thats what this film shows.

CONCLUSION:

The movie is well shot, well scripted, well directed, and has some fabulous acting. The first half was excellent, but Jha couldn't carry the same effect in the second half. Ranbir was fab, Arjun was fab (for a change), Nana was superb, Bajpai did a great job. Katrina's role wasn't upto the expectation. Ajay's role also lacked substance. But all in all, its a good movie. Worth a watch.

THE FINAL EQUATION:

Raajneeti = Mahabharata + Godfather + Love Sex aur Dhokha + Sonia Gandhi + Politics

A FEW GLITCHES:

One thing that Prakash Jha showed was a lot of killings of the top leaders of the rival parties. This looked unoriginal. I wish this could really happen in India. Desh ka kuchh to bhala hota. ;)

GFN METER:

On the GFN meter, I'd rate Raajneeti 3.5 on a scale of 5.

I LOVED:

- Manoj Bajpai's acting

- Katrina Kaif's look (in the first half)

- Nana Patekar's fantabulous acting

- the soundtrack, especially Bheegi Si Bhaagi Si and Mora Piya Mo Se Bolat Naahi. I missed these songs in the movie though.

PS: I'm not a professional movie critic, nor I am paid for this review. *sob sob* All the views expressed above are my personal views. Yours may vary.

Incredible India

We live in a nation where a pizza reaches faster than an ambulance or police !

We live in a nation where you get a car loan at 5% interest but an educational loan at 12% interest !

We live in a nation where rice is Rs 40 per kg but a sim card is free !

We live in a nation where a millionaire can buy a cricket team for thousands of crores of rupees instead of donating a part of the money to charity !

We live in a nation where everybody wants to be famous but nobody wants to follow the path to be famous !

We live in a nation where the netas are more concerned for IPL rather than the population living below poverty line (BPL) !

We live in a nation where the agriculture minister is more interested in cricket politics rather than controlling the rising prices of the basic food grains !

We live in a nation where a union minister can remain absconding when declared guilty by the court !

We live in a nation where loads of money is spent to provide security to a terrorist when hundreds of people are killed every year in terror acts !

We live in a nation where people love to break rules and then get away by paying a petty bribe !

We live in a nation where people prefer tainted netas to represent them over educated ones !

We live in a nation where people standing at a tea stall reading an article on child labour say "Yaar, bachho se kaam karwane waalo ko goli maar deni chahiye..." and then they say "Oye chhotu ! 2 chai laa..."

We live in INDIA ! Incredible India !

PS : Some of the above points are a part of an SMS forwarded by a friend of mine. I added some points on my own.

PS2 : This post should not be taken in a wrong sense. Rather this post should be taken as the key areas where we can change the system.

CID-iots

Guys, guys and girls ! (Now that the Women's Reservation Bill has been passed in the Rajya Sabha, I'm trying to get used to 33% reservation for women...)

 

It gives me a great pleasure announcing the news that "Good For Nothin..." is foraying into a new business... And that's film making.

Yes, we're entering the showbiz ! But, before we invest our hard earned money into this very risky business, I thought of having an opinion about the script of my first film from you !

Isn't that great??? I know it is...

I grew up watching the super awesome crime show CID ! And more recently, the film 3 Idiots left a huge impact on my small mind (you can even put it in your pocket...). So, I had a thought that both of these had to be in my first film.

A few days ago, I came across a script, on Facebook, from a guy who did not want to be named. I've told him to pop up and claim credit for the story at the time of the release of the film, just as Chetan Bhagat did, so that the movie can get some free publicity. So I made a few changes to the script. I'm posting the script here. Please leave your comments on it. Whether I should go with the script or the script sucks, you can say anything. Please feel free to give suggestions, if any...

And yes, I've designed a poster too...

Here it is...

Starring : ACP Pradyumn, Daya and Abhijeet in and as CID-iots (CID + 3 Idiots)

Supporting Cast : Fredericks, Dr. Salunkhe, Vivek, Chatur, Virus aka Viru Sahastrabuddhe, etc

Script : Unknown FB guy and Ankit B. Rathod

Music : talks on with Anu Malik and Preetam. We'll finalise the one who can give us the most 'inspired' music at the cheapest rates.

Director : Ankit B. Rathod

Producer : Good For Nothin....

And, here goes the script...

* * * * * * * * * *   CID-iots  Script   -   First   Draft   * * * * * * * * * *

After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call the world famous CID.

ACP Pradyumn : OHH MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya... Campus ko achhi tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !! (Shaking his finger)

After searching the campus like a pair of buffoons, Abhijeet and Daya find out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years ago in the campus...

Abhijeet: Sir, Maamla gadbad hai...Yaha kisi Joy Lobo naam ke student ne aatma-hatya ki thi... 4 saal pehle... Lagta hai woh aatma-hatya nahi, khoon tha... Aur shayad khooni yeh Rancho hi hoga !!!

ACP: OHH MY GODD !!! Abhijeet, Daya... Ek kaam karo... Ye Joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikaalo... Aur usey Forensic Lab mein leke aao... Dr. Salunkhe zaroor koi naa koi baat ugalva lenge is murde aadmi se !!

Fredericks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of Joy...

And the next scene is of the Forensic Lab...

Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahut jaldi laash le aaye tum... Is se kuch bulvaana mushkil hoga... Lekin tum tension mat lo... Tum Dr. Salunkhe ki lab se khaali haath wapas nahi jaaoge... Koi naa koi raaz to pata chal hi jayega...

After playing with some colour changing liquids...

Dr. Salunkhe: BOSS... Tum ne kaha is ki maut suicide se hui hai... Main kehta hoon is ka khoon hua hai !!

ACP: Salunkhe !!! Ye mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!... Ye kaise ho sakta hai??

Salunkhe: BOSS... Sab kuch mumkin hai !! Ye dekho...

(shows him his star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)

ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger).... To phir yeh baat humein kisi ne batayi kyun nahi??? Ek kaam karo... Uss principal ko yahaan leke aao Bureau mein... Ab kya sach hai, wohi humein batayega !!

Virus is brought to the Bureau...

Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai... Maine kuch nahi kiya...

Abhijeet: Sach sach batao... Us raat campus mein kya hua tha???

Virus: Ssssir, main sssach bol raha hoon... Mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??

Daya takes over and gives him a dose of his special world famous CHAMAAAT !!!

Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???

Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad aa gaya... Batata hoon... Sab batata hoon !

Fredericks: (constipated look) Sir... Daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu hai... Is ka 'sssss' karna band ho gaya...

ACP: Fredericks... Chup raho !!

Virus: Uss raat sab logo ne Gay Party ki thi.... Sab log apni underwear mein campus mein ghoom rahe the.... Main bhi tha... Lekin mere saath koi flirt hi nahi kar raha tha... Isliye main bahut gusse mein tha... Phir Joy aaya aur usne mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya... Maine us ka helicopter dust bin mein fek diya.. To wo rote-rote apne room mein chala gaya... Aur next din hum ne dekha to uska murder ho gaya tha... Lekin aap please ye baat kisi se boliye mat... College ki badnaami ho jayegi...

ACP: Hum kisi ko nahi batayenge... Tum humare saath co-operate karo...

Virus leaves...

ACP: Yahaan kuch to gadbad hai Daya.... Aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus mein khoon ho gaya aur kisi ne CID ko bulaya hi nahi?? Apna publicity ka kharcha badha do....

Abhijeet: Sir, ye college mein padhe-likhe log hain... Shayad in logo ko pata hai ki pehle Police ko bulaana chahiye, CID ko nahi !!

ACP: Aur ye kaise hua ki khooni campus mein aa gaya.... Aur campus se khoon kar ke nikal bhi gaya??

Vivek : Sir, shayad ye bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?

ACP: Haan Vivek... Kuchh bhi ho sakta hai... Kuchh bhi... (shaking his finger)... Ek kaam karo Abhijeet... Phir se campus mein chalte hain... Aur achhi tarah se check karte hain... Yahaan daal mein zaroor kuchh kaala hai !!

Abhijeet: Sir, daal mein kaala nahi, poori daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!

They reach the campus in their old faithful Toyota Qualis which changes colour every episode... But the number plate is still the same... And Daya slams the breaks...

SCCRREEEECH !!

ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum poora campus CHECK KARO.... Daya ,tum is campus ke saare DARWAAZE TOD DO....!! Fredericks, tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se entertain karo... Aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hoon.... Chalo sab apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!

After checking the campus...

Vivek: Sir, yahaan aaiye.... Ye dekho.... Ye ek Chatur Ramalingam naam ke ladke ki diary mili hai sir... Is mein likha hai ki wo aur Rancho ek doosre ke dushman the... Aur wo Rancho se badla lena chahta tha !!

ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)... OHH MY GODD !!! Ab ye Chatur kaun hai...?? Aur iske room se itni badbu kyun aa rahi hai...?? Good work Vivek...! Is evidence ko forensic lab le jao !

Abhijeet: Haaiinn !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai... Shayad is Chatur ne hi Joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! Aur Rancho kahaan gaya, ye bhi usey hi pata hoga !!

ACP: To bulao is Chatur ko Bureau mein... Is se hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!

Chatur in interrogation...

ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??

Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !! Main us ke baare mein kuchh nahi jaanti....

Abhijeet: Dekho... Sach sach bataao !! Humein tumhari ye diary mili hai... Wo bhi tumhare room se... Ye diary to pehchante ho naa tum?? Is mein saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhe Rancho se jalan thi...

Chatur : (over-acting)... Ye diary meri hi hai... Mujhe nahi pata hai sir ye Rancho keedar hai !! Maine kuchh bhi nahi kiye hai... Please believe me sir... I'm innocent....

Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins...

Chatur: (crying with one hand on his cheek) Haan haan... Maine hi khoon kiya tha Joy ka... Kyunki us ne Mechanical Helicopter banaya tha project mein... Aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya tha.... *sob sob* Lekin phir woh Rancho aa gaye... Us ne mujhe dekh liye the... Isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya...

ACP: Waah... Kya plan banaya tha... Lekin afsos... Tum CID ke saamne kaamyaab nahi ho paaye... Ab banaate rehna plan... JAIL me... Tumhe to FAASI hogi FAASI !!