Moving On

Change is something which I can not accept easily. I am very slow in moving on. Everything that happens around me leaves a long lasting impact on me. And this emotional fool attitude of mine has hurt me a lot. It has hurt me like hell.

Why can't life just be normal?

Why can't we just be happy?

Why can people not let us be happy?

Why do they have to create troubles?

Why do we feel so helpless?

I can't. I find it really troublesome, really difficult moving on in life. Its next to impossible for me. I don't have words to describe my state of mind. Still I tried to vent out some of my thoughts. May be after writing this I would feel better. May be. May be not. I don't know what I am writing. I don't know why I want to write. Still I need to get a bit light. Still I need to let things out.

To many, I might seem to be a loser. But I'm not. Or may be I am. But you just can't single handedly fight against all odds  Nothing seems to be going my way. Still I manage to smile. Now I'm tired of 'faking' it.

I may be repeating certain sentences, certain things, just coz they are the only ones that are in my mind. I never knew I was such a negative thinker. I never knew I would succumb so easily. Its rather painful fighting life for so long and that too without almost no support.

I don't say I don't have any support, but the way I am, I don't let my heart speak out to anyone. This might be a drawback. But thats the way I am. I can't help it.

I wish I could be a li'l less emotional and a lot more practical !

I really just want to be alone right now. There are things I have on my mind and I need to sort them out. I will let you know when things are figured out. Till then, I need solitude...


PS : I don't want any comments on this AND please DO NOT make any attempt to make me share the reason behind it. It would just add to my woes.