Stupidity Unlimited

A very wise person has said

Stupidity has no limits. Intelligence has !

I guess this "wise" person had been "stupid" for some time and its his experience that's speaking ;)

There are some instances when even the wisest of the people ask you such a stupid questions that you feel like answering them in the weirdest way possible.  Everyone acts stupid at times. You, me, everyone ! In fact, these moments when recalled in future bring a smile on everyone's faces.

I am enlisting a few of such stupid questions that are asked in the most obvious situations along with their weird answers. Have a read and have a laugh ! 

SITUATION: At the movies, When you meet acquaintances / friends...

STUPID QUESTION: Hey, what are you doing here?

ANSWER: Dont u know, I sell tickets in black over here...!

SITUATION: In the bus, a heavy lady wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet…

STUPID QUESTION: Sorry, did that hurt?

ANSWER: No, not at all... I’m on local anesthesia… Why don’t you try again?

SITUATION: At a funeral, one of the teary-eyed people ask…

STUPID QUESTION: Why? Why him, of all people??

ANSWER: Why? Would it rather have been you?

SITUATION: At a restaurant, when you ask the waiter...

STUPID QUESTION: Is the “Paneer Butter Masala” dish good??

ANSWER: No, its terrible and made of adulterated cement. We occassionaly also spit in it.

SITUATION: At a family get-together, when some distant aunt meets you after years…

STUPID QUESTION: Munna / Chickoo / Bunty (or whatever your nickname is), you’ve become so big.

ANSWER: Well, you haven’t particularly shrunk yourself.

SITUATION: When a friend announces her wedding, and you ask…

STUPID QUESTION: Is the guy you’re marrying good?

ANSWER: No, he’s a miserable wife-beating , insensitive lout…. It’s just the money I'm marrying him for.

SITUATION: When you get woken up at midnight by a phone call…

STUPID QUESTION: Sorry. were you sleeping?

ANSWER: No. I was doing research on whether the Zulu tribes in Africa marry or not. You thought I was sleeping, you dumb witted moron?

SITUATION: When you see a friend / colleague with evidently shorter hair…

STUPID QUESTION: Hey have you had a haircut?

ANSWER: No, its autumn and I’m shedding…

SITUATION: At the dentist when he’s sticking pointed objects in your mouth…

STUPID QUESTION: Tell me if it hurts...

ANSWER: No it won't. It will just bleed...

SITUATION: You are smoking a cigarette and a cute woman asks…

STUPID QUESTION: Oh, so you smoke?

ANSWER: Gosh, it’s a miracle... it was a piece of chalk and now it’s in flames !!!

If there was a certificate like this for every stupid question asked, we would have lots of people boasting about the number of certificates they have ! Even I would have a few of these too... :D