Complaints, Excuses And More !

Well, I know, most of my readers don't even care that a blogger named Ankit B. Rathod ever existed. A lot of them might have wiped out Good For Nothin' out of their memories. But, but, but... I'm a phoenix, who rises from its own ashes (for those who need a citation, click here). I will always come back from a sabbatical, like this.

Actually, kabhi kabhi mujhe achanak se bhoot chadh jaata hai blog likhne ka. And probably, that's the reason why I can't give up blogging completely despite being busier than an Ambani. :P

Being very less frequent on the bloggerdom is my only weakness. And this time, seriously I'm working on to overcome it. My last post was on Nov 26, 2011 and today is Mar 07, 2012. That's exactly 3 months 10 days or simply put, its 102 days. Yayyyy !! I've hit a century !!! I should be happy, its my first century ever. Cricket mein to kabhi century maari nahi, blog pe hi sahi ! Well, don't worry, this is probably my first and last century ever !

Of late, I've been listening to a lot of complaints about myself. If I were in school, I could've been thrown out of the school considering the number of complaints I'm getting ! And being a true Indian by heart, we don't accept complaints against us that easily. We have excuses for almost everything ! Even if someone complains about Team India's poor performance down under, a true Indian fan would have something to blame on - the one less ball that wasn't bowled in the tied match against Sri Lanka. :P

Coming back from the larger perspective to a relatively smaller one, I'm gonna enlist a few of the complaints that people make against me, and the excuses that I give, and some more mirrch masaala. :P

Don't worry,  I won't enlist all of them in the post, nahi to jitne bache khuche readers hai wo bhi padhna chhod denge !

Complaint :

Aaj kal message nahi karta. Pehle to roz subah tera message aa jaata tha. Ab kya ho gaya hai?

Excuse :

Arre yaar, I've stopped messaging everyone ever since I lost my Nokia E63 (more than a year ago, on the onset of 2011 !). Us phone mein mera saara message ka collection chala gaya. And then I took HTC Wildfire. The phone is good, but its really a pain to send group messages in that phone.

And More :

The account that I gave is totally true. And this is one of the genuine reasons that I have stopped sending SMSes to everyone. Other genuine reasons not to be disclosed. ;)

Complaint :

Oye... tu blog likhta tha naa.... Kaafi din se tere updates nahi aa rahe hain... All well naa?

Excuse :

Ya... Of course, all is well. Blog to mera abhi bhi hai, but us pe post karne ka time nahi milta. Jab se ye MBA start hua hai naa, bahut zyaada busy ho gaya hoon... saans lene ki bhi fursat badi mushkil se milti hai.

And More :

Somewhat true ! :P

Complaint : 

No tweets for so long ! Pehle to teri twitter updates se pareshaan ho jaate the.

Excuse : 

Ye hi soch ke maine twitter use karna band kar diya. Wo kya hai naa, mujh se tumhari takleef dekhi nahi gayi !

And More :

Dude, if you think you're sarcastic, think again ! Sarcasm mein main tumhaara BAAP hoon ! :P

Complaint :

Mota ho raha hai !

Excuse :

To us mein bhi takleef hai tumhe? Pehle patla tha to kehte the kitna patla hai, ab mota hua to kehte ho mota kyun hai !!!! Complain karna kab chhodoge?

And More :

Its true ! Main mota ho raha hoon !! :(

Complaint :

Tu kitna travel karta hai? Bore nahi ho jaata kya itna travel kar ke?? Kabhi Pune, kabhi Mumbai, kabhi Falna.... Ek jagah to tere pair tikte hi nahi hain... Bhatakti aatma hai kya?

Excuse :

I love to travel ! And ghar pe jaane mein main bilkul bhi bore nahi hota :) Well, you can call me a bhatakti aatma, but a nomad would be a better word ! :P

And More :

Contrary to the excuse that I present, I don't love travelling that much, but its the destination that excites me more. Ghar jaane ke liye to mujhe aadhi raat ko neend mein se jaga ke bhi bologe to bhi I'm ready !

Complaint :

Less Facebook, Even lesser blog posts, Almost nil tweets? Kitna badal gaya insaan....

Excuse :

Actually wo kya hai naa ke mujhe ab gyaan ki praapti ho gayi hai... Ye sab moh maaya hai ! Aur main in ka tyaag karne ki koshish kar raha hoon.

And More :

Told you, I'm Sarcasm ki dukaan ! :P

Well, these were just a few. Agar sab likhne baith jaaunga to shaam to idhar hi ho jaayegi. Plus I have a lot of other things in my priority list. :)

People will never stop complaining. You just have to be more creative in the excuses that you present. That's what I'm trying to do !

Such is life !

It happens only in India !

Yeah !! These glitches can happen only in Indian movies.... Have a look !

Baghban:

Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, i.e. From March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September! 

Lagaan:

Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie. 

Amar Akbar Anthony:

Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person. 

Awwal Number:

Dev Anand is an omnipotent genius -- former cricketer,captain, army chief, commissioner, you name it. And Aamir Khan carries a huge transistor in his pocket while batting!

Khalnayak:

The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen! Something that office team will be interested in)

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha: Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America . Well, well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways. That Time Jet Airways wasn't an International Flight. Or else we say that Movie was Pre-launched?

Raja Hindustani:

Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. After tying the knot, she acquires waist-length hair overnight. What a hair-raising experience!

Raja:

Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill!

Guddu:

Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level!

Tere Mere Sapne:

Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at the bus stop, she is carrying an electrical technology thesis by B L Theraja. What an electrifying interest!

Thats all for now !! Enlist some more if you can... :P

PS: To avoid non-posting and post frequency issues, I've merged Good For Nothin' and Crapologists... Now GFN will have blended posts !!

PS2: This post can be taken as a space filler !

Marwaris = Smart !

While surfing through some random blogs, I came across this story of a Marwari salesman. I, being a Marwari myself, couldn't refrain myself from reading it. I loved it sooooo much. Read it and know how good Marwaris are at business !

A keen immigrant Indian lad applied for a salesman’s job at London’s premier downtown departmental store. In fact, it was the biggest store in the world – you could get anything there.

The boss asked him, "Have you ever been a salesman before?"

"Yes sir, I was a salesman in Rajasthan in India", replied the lad.

The boss liked the cut of him and said,

"You can start tomorrow and I’ll come and see you."

The day was long and arduous for the young man, but he got through it. And finally 6:00 PM came around. The boss duly fronted up and asked,

"How many sales did you make today?"

"Sir, Just ONE sale." said the young salesman.

"Only one sale?" blurted the boss.

"No! No! You see here, most of my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. If you want to keep this job, you’d better be doing better than just one sale. By the way how much was the sale worth?"

"Three hundred thousand three hundred and thirty four pounds", said the young Marwari.

"What? How did you manage that?" asked the flabbergasted boss.

"Well", said the salesman, "This man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium hook and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him new fishing rod and some fishing gear. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast. So I told him he’d be needing a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that twenty-foot schooner with the twin engines. Then he said his Volkswagen probably wouldn’t be able to pull it, so I took him to our automotive department and sold him that new Deluxe 4X4 Blazer. I then asked him where he’ll be staying, and since he had no accommodation, I took him to camping department and sold him one of those new igloo 6 sleeper camper tents. Then the guy said, while we’re at it, I should throw in about $100 worth of groceries and two cases of beer."

The boss took two steps back and asked in astonishment, "You sold all that to a guy who came in for a fish hook!!"

"No." answered the salesman, "He came in to buy a box of sanitary napkins for his wife and I said to him, "Your weekend is screwed anyway; you might as well go fishing."

So, this is what being Marwari is... I'm proud to be a Marwari ! Kasam se....