Main Kasab Ban Jaaunga

I know.... I know you all are missing me... and my posts, of course ! Well, I was busy with my exam preparations. Yes, MBA has semester pattern... Matlab university waalo ko saal mein 2 mauke milte hain humaari beizzati karne ke !!

And this one is not my original creation. I read it on Facebook. I liked it very much. Yes ! Its a poem. It is a Hindi poem originally titled "A poem by unemployed youth of India", but I feel this poem not just reflects the sentiments of unemployed youth, but it is a mirror of general Indian sentiments. 

Here you go !

माँ मुझे एक बंदूक दे दे

मै कसाब बन जाऊँगा

दो चार मंत्री को मार

रोज कबाब मै खाऊँगा

यहाँ तो इक चादर भी नहीं

वहाँ नरम बिछौना पाऊँगा

दिन रात मै जागूँ यहाँ

वहाँ चैन की नींद सो जाऊँगा

यहाँ मिले गाली और घूंसा

यहाँ रोज मार मै खाऊँगा

वहाँ मुझे छिंक भी आये

तुरंत दवाई मै पाऊँगा

घर की सूखी रोटी से तो अच्छा

रोज बिरयानी खाऊंगा

और जब मैं अदालत में जाऊ

तो मंद मंद मुस्कराऊंगा

मुझे देख भारतवासी गुस्से से तिलमिलाए

तो उनकी किस्मत पर तरस खाऊंगा

फिर देना जब जनम मुझे

मै ऐसा भाग न पाऊँगा

माँ मुझे एक बंदूक दे दे

मै कसाब बन जाऊँगा

I do not preach violence or killings. But the fact that a bloody terrorist is enjoying the Indian hospitality rather than being hanged hurts me a lot. Kasab is the safest man in India. And we, the citizens of India, are still unsafe !

Thodi kahi, zyaada samajhna !

Such is life.

PS: If the Government of India is citing silly reasons like shortage of hangmen, I would love to play a hangman for Kasab ! Kasam se....

Complaints, Excuses And More !

Well, I know, most of my readers don't even care that a blogger named Ankit B. Rathod ever existed. A lot of them might have wiped out Good For Nothin' out of their memories. But, but, but... I'm a phoenix, who rises from its own ashes (for those who need a citation, click here). I will always come back from a sabbatical, like this.

Actually, kabhi kabhi mujhe achanak se bhoot chadh jaata hai blog likhne ka. And probably, that's the reason why I can't give up blogging completely despite being busier than an Ambani. :P

Being very less frequent on the bloggerdom is my only weakness. And this time, seriously I'm working on to overcome it. My last post was on Nov 26, 2011 and today is Mar 07, 2012. That's exactly 3 months 10 days or simply put, its 102 days. Yayyyy !! I've hit a century !!! I should be happy, its my first century ever. Cricket mein to kabhi century maari nahi, blog pe hi sahi ! Well, don't worry, this is probably my first and last century ever !

Of late, I've been listening to a lot of complaints about myself. If I were in school, I could've been thrown out of the school considering the number of complaints I'm getting ! And being a true Indian by heart, we don't accept complaints against us that easily. We have excuses for almost everything ! Even if someone complains about Team India's poor performance down under, a true Indian fan would have something to blame on - the one less ball that wasn't bowled in the tied match against Sri Lanka. :P

Coming back from the larger perspective to a relatively smaller one, I'm gonna enlist a few of the complaints that people make against me, and the excuses that I give, and some more mirrch masaala. :P

Don't worry,  I won't enlist all of them in the post, nahi to jitne bache khuche readers hai wo bhi padhna chhod denge !

Complaint :

Aaj kal message nahi karta. Pehle to roz subah tera message aa jaata tha. Ab kya ho gaya hai?

Excuse :

Arre yaar, I've stopped messaging everyone ever since I lost my Nokia E63 (more than a year ago, on the onset of 2011 !). Us phone mein mera saara message ka collection chala gaya. And then I took HTC Wildfire. The phone is good, but its really a pain to send group messages in that phone.

And More :

The account that I gave is totally true. And this is one of the genuine reasons that I have stopped sending SMSes to everyone. Other genuine reasons not to be disclosed. ;)

Complaint :

Oye... tu blog likhta tha naa.... Kaafi din se tere updates nahi aa rahe hain... All well naa?

Excuse :

Ya... Of course, all is well. Blog to mera abhi bhi hai, but us pe post karne ka time nahi milta. Jab se ye MBA start hua hai naa, bahut zyaada busy ho gaya hoon... saans lene ki bhi fursat badi mushkil se milti hai.

And More :

Somewhat true ! :P

Complaint : 

No tweets for so long ! Pehle to teri twitter updates se pareshaan ho jaate the.

Excuse : 

Ye hi soch ke maine twitter use karna band kar diya. Wo kya hai naa, mujh se tumhari takleef dekhi nahi gayi !

And More :

Dude, if you think you're sarcastic, think again ! Sarcasm mein main tumhaara BAAP hoon ! :P

Complaint :

Mota ho raha hai !

Excuse :

To us mein bhi takleef hai tumhe? Pehle patla tha to kehte the kitna patla hai, ab mota hua to kehte ho mota kyun hai !!!! Complain karna kab chhodoge?

And More :

Its true ! Main mota ho raha hoon !! :(

Complaint :

Tu kitna travel karta hai? Bore nahi ho jaata kya itna travel kar ke?? Kabhi Pune, kabhi Mumbai, kabhi Falna.... Ek jagah to tere pair tikte hi nahi hain... Bhatakti aatma hai kya?

Excuse :

I love to travel ! And ghar pe jaane mein main bilkul bhi bore nahi hota :) Well, you can call me a bhatakti aatma, but a nomad would be a better word ! :P

And More :

Contrary to the excuse that I present, I don't love travelling that much, but its the destination that excites me more. Ghar jaane ke liye to mujhe aadhi raat ko neend mein se jaga ke bhi bologe to bhi I'm ready !

Complaint :

Less Facebook, Even lesser blog posts, Almost nil tweets? Kitna badal gaya insaan....

Excuse :

Actually wo kya hai naa ke mujhe ab gyaan ki praapti ho gayi hai... Ye sab moh maaya hai ! Aur main in ka tyaag karne ki koshish kar raha hoon.

And More :

Told you, I'm Sarcasm ki dukaan ! :P

Well, these were just a few. Agar sab likhne baith jaaunga to shaam to idhar hi ho jaayegi. Plus I have a lot of other things in my priority list. :)

People will never stop complaining. You just have to be more creative in the excuses that you present. That's what I'm trying to do !

Such is life !

Love Breakups Zindagi ;)

No no no.... This is NOT a review of the movie Love Breakups Zindagi. Well... To tickle your funny bones, here's a hilarious letter from an ex-lover to his ex-flame. I got it as a forward. The original writer (as mentioned in the forward) is Mr Ramvilas Jangid. Full credits to him for such a funny creation.

Read it, and have a laugh. Here it is...

डियर डिम्पू,

तुम ने डेढ़ बरस तक जो मुझ से प्यार किया, उस का शुक्रिया. आशा है, पत्र मिलने तक तुम ने नया प्रेमी पकड़ लिया होगा. उस के साथ अब डेटिंग पर भी जा रही होगी. हर प्रेमी को बहुत स्ट्रगल करना पड़ता है. मैं भी स्ट्रगल कर रहा हूँ. प्यार के ढाई आखर कमबख्त बड़े मुश्किल से पकड़ में आते हैं. मैंने भी तुम्हे मिस करने के बाद मोहल्ले की ही शीनो पर लंगर डालना शुरू कर दिया है. प्रेम का मेरा यह चौथा प्रयास है. लेकिन इन प्रयासों ने मुझे एक सीख दी है. डिम्पू, तुम तो जानती हो कि प्रेम शुरू करते ही कमबख्त लव लैटर लिखने पड़ते हैं. पता है ना, मैंने तुम्हे कितने पत्र लिखे थे? पहले के दो प्रेम प्रकरणों मेंन भी लैटरबाज़ी करनी पड़ी थी. बड़ा झंझट है प्रेम मार्ग में. इसीलिए तुम मेरे समस्त प्रेम पत्र लौटा देना. तुम्हे लिखे उन प्रेम पत्रों पर सफेदा पोतकर डिम्पू की जगह शीनो लिख दूंगा. इस से मेरी म्हणत बच जायेगी. प्लीज़, मेरे प्रेम पत्र लौटा देना, क्योंकि उन की फोटो कॉपी भी मेरे पास नहीं है.

डिम्पू, तुम मेरा वह फोटो भी वापस कर देना. तुम तो जानती हो कि वही एकमात्र फोटो ऐसी है, जिस में मैं ठीक ठाक दिखता हूँ. बड़ी कीमती है. मेरे प्रेम पत्रों के साथ मेरी वह फोटो भी भेज देना, ताकि शीनो को भेज सकूं.

और हाँ, अपने प्यार काण्ड में डेढ़ वर्ष के दौरान मेरे द्वारा किये गए खर्च का हिसाब भेज रहा हूँ. आशा है, तुम शीघ्र ही इस खर्च का भुगतान कर भरपाई करा डौगी, ताकि तुम्हे भी नए प्यार के लिए मेरी ओर से एन.ओ.सी. जारी हो सके और मैं भी नए प्यार पर खर्च करना शुरू कर सकूं. हिसाब इस प्रकार है:

चाट पकौड़ी                      895 रुपये

कोल्ड ड्रिंक्स                   2938 रुपये

स्नैक्स                          5645 रुपये

जूस                              3845 रुपये

मोबाइल फ़ोन वार्ता           2546 रुपये

पेट्रोल खर्च                      4255 रुपये

गिफ्ट                            7850 रुपये

                              --------------------

सकल योग                    30708 रुपये

                              ==============

अक्षर में : रुपये तीस हज़ार सात सौ आठ मात्र.

कृपया ये रुपये मुझे शीघ्र भेजने कि कृपा करना, ताकि मैं अपनी शीनो के प्यार में इन रुपयों को कुरबान कर सकूं. और हाँ, यदि तुम्हारे पास मेरे द्वारा दिए गए गिफ्ट पड़े हों, तो उन्हें मैं आधी कीमत पर खरीदने के लिए तैयार हूँ. तुम उन का हिसाब बना कर मेरी मूल रकम में से काट कर पुराने गिफ्टों को भी भेज देना. इस पत्र के साथ तुम्हारे पूरे चार किलो तीन सौ ग्राम वजन के प्रेम पत्रों का पुलिंदा भी संलग्न है, ताकि तुम्हे भी प्रेम पत्र लिखने में फिर से परेशानी ना उठानी पड़े. तुम्हारी वह सुन्दर फोटो भी भेज रहा हूँ, जो तुम अपने नए प्रेमी झंडामल को दे सकती हो. तुम अपना हिसाब भी बता देना. वैसे तुम्हारा खर्च तो कुछ भी नहीं आया होगा. तुम हमेशा अपना पर्स भूल जाती थी. कमबख्त प्यार में लड़कों की ही जेब ढीली होती है. खैर, बीते प्रेम पर कैसा अफ़सोस, जब नया भी पधार चुका है. आशा है, तुम मेरा हिसाब जल्दी से जल्दी साफ़ कर के मुझे नए प्यार में कूदने में मदद दोगी. तुम्हे सातवाँ प्रेम मुबारक हो.

तुम्हारा छठा पूर्व प्रेमी,

मोती.

Hope you all had a great laugh ! :)

(UN)Happy New Year :(

You might be wondering that what the hell I am upto and why the hell am I wishing you an "unhappy" new year??

Actually, I'm not wishing you an "unhappy" new year, but I am emphasizing on how my new year was. Unfortunately, it was UNHAPPY...

I was all alone, as my family was out of town. And to add to it, I had some health issues that started with the beginning of 2011. And I'm still not totally okay. I hope I will be back to normal in a couple of days. At least I hope so.

Even though the start was bad, I don't believe that 2011 is going to be bad for me. Of late, I've started living in the 'positive hemisphere' of life ! So, no issues of 2011 bringing bad omen to me. :P

Earlier too, I've stayed alone a lot of times. And I'm quite used to it. But this time, it was a different story altogether. The most harrowing 'home alone' experience I've ever had !

I didn't intend to publish this post, but I am publishing it 'coz all I need is your good wishes so that I get well soon... errr... not soon... but I want myself to get well 'quickly'... ;)

And I hope that unlike me, the new year has been "happy" for all of you.... Once again, a very happy new year !! 

2010 - Tussi jaa rahe ho.... ;)

After reading the title, you might call it a 'filmy' post. But it isn't... Actually even I have no idea what I am going to write in this post. Still, I'm gonna complete and publish it ;)

Actually, of late, I've been very LAZY (yes... you can say that) to devote time to my blog. But I don't know, I'm not able to find something interesting to write. I, myself, have been a bit bored of posting poems one after the other. And I am very much aware that less frequent posting, GFN has lost some valued readers. It is very much evident from the (decreased number of) comments on the (rarely published) posts.

2010 - a year full of ups and downs. Generally talking, a lot of scams came up in this year. I've lost the count !! And since I don't even remember the number of scams, there's no point in starting what I do the best - government bashing !! So, dear Dr Manmohan Singh ji (indirectly Sonia-ji Gandhi-ji Madam-ji), you're safe, at least from my side.

On the personal front too, 2010 has been a year to remember. With a lots of ups and downs, 2010 will always have a special place. 2010 has been good, bad, and also very good for me. I won't enlist all the incidents, not that I don't remember them, but I don't wanna "share" them... :P

Abb aur kya bacha???

New Year Resolution??? Naah... Koi matlab nahi hai yaar... Almost all resolutions made on the New Year are either broken or forgotten within the first four months. So, New Year Resolution is a strict no-no !! I remember myself and my co-blogger Garima Ranawat made a resolution last year to update GFN more frequently. But hua ekdum ulta... Our posting frequency decreased a lot !! So, promise karne ka hi nahi... ;)

Last four months of 2010 have brought some mixed feelings for me - from very very good to some bad moments !! Still, getting a bit filmy, I'll say "2010... Tussi jaa rahe ho?? Tussi naa jaao...." (with the same innocence as Farzaan Dastur in Kuchh Kuchh Hota Hai...) :P

Wishing a very very Happy New Year to all my readers, I'd like to conclude this post. May the forthcoming year 2011 be one of the bestEST in your lives. Cheers !!! Celebrate & Rejoice !!

So where's the PAAAARTTYYYYY !!!

Dear 2011... Welcome hai jiii... 

Life ka Update ! - ver 2.0

Ahhhh !! A lot of days have passed since my last update on the blog !!

Ya ya... I know you've been missing me... Even I've been missing you !! Actually something or the other kept me busy during this span of time. Diwali, my nephew visiting, CAT preparation, CAT - the test itself, Mumbai trip were a few of the things that happened in this time interval.

Oh ya !! How can I forget to tell you this... I bought myself a new car !! :) And its the Chevrolet Beat ! I call the 1200cc of AWESOMENESS !! :) And with this car, I'm no more a Be-CAR !! One can call this car a BEAST, of course, with the "S" silent. ;)

This Diwali was great in its own terms. I met a lot of batchmates this time, reliving the good old days of school. Prateek M, Kaushal, Kamlesh, Bhupendra, Anshu, Shruti, Garima and of course me - all of us had a gala time with each other. :)

And then I had CAT on the 10th Nov. So a bit of studying for it and then appearing with almost no preparation wasn't that difficult. LOL :) The test was good. Don't ask me how good it was. My result will say it all :P

Even the Mumbai trip was good, met a lot of people, couldn't meet some of them. Met my brothers and sisters and my bhabhi-to-be over dinner. And had an amazing time with them. The picture below taken at Grapeviine has (from left to right) Yukta, me, Kadambari bhabhi, Akshay, Honey and Chirag bhaiya :)

PS: I also watched Golmaal 3. ;)

Life ka Update !

Sorry readers for yet another post starting with an apology !


With so many things happening in my life, I had no time to write a blog post. And if I had time, I was in no mood to write one. Yes. It happens sometimes.


Even this one is just to let you people know that I am 'alive'. This was the sole motto of publishing this post.


Don't worry, I'll be back with a bang with something good. Just wait for a few days. Yes, everything will be there - CWG bashing, poems, feelings, etc etc etc !


Till then, keep showering your love.


And this one, being just a 'space filler' post, ends here.


Over and out !

It happens only in India !

Yeah !! These glitches can happen only in Indian movies.... Have a look !

Baghban:

Amitabh Bachchan and Hema Malini are separated right after Holi remember Amitabh singing Holi khele Raghubeera?). They are said to be separated for six months, i.e. From March to September. Within that six-month period, they celebrate Valentine's Day, which falls on February 14, and karva chauth, which is usually observed in October. There is no way these two occasions could come between March and September! 

Lagaan:

Lagaan was shot in the late 19th century. At the time, an over in cricket used to consist of 8 balls. But in this movie, an over has 6 balls. Maybe modern cricket learnt from the movie. 

Amar Akbar Anthony:

Three men donate blood at the same time to the same person. 

Awwal Number:

Dev Anand is an omnipotent genius -- former cricketer,captain, army chief, commissioner, you name it. And Aamir Khan carries a huge transistor in his pocket while batting!

Khalnayak:

The police tracks the villain from an MS Word Document screen! Something that office team will be interested in)

Pyar To Hona Hi Tha: Kajol gets off the train to use the public toilet at the railway station and the train chugs off without her. Poor girl, little did she know that every train compartment has four toilets inside.

Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi: Akshay Kumar boards a Jet Airways flight to America . Well, well, some promotion for our Indian Jet Airways. That Time Jet Airways wasn't an International Flight. Or else we say that Movie was Pre-launched?

Raja Hindustani:

Navneet Nishan has short hair before marriage. After tying the knot, she acquires waist-length hair overnight. What a hair-raising experience!

Raja:

Dilip Tahil empties a can of petrol over Madhuri Dixit. Minutes later, Sanjay Kapoor takes the same can and pours it over Dilip Tahil. That's what I call an autofill!

Guddu:

Manisha Koirala and Shah Rukh Khan are seen hanging on a parachute during a song. But when the song ends, they land on a glider. What a switch above sea level!

Tere Mere Sapne:

Priya Gill is doing her BA. But at the bus stop, she is carrying an electrical technology thesis by B L Theraja. What an electrifying interest!

Thats all for now !! Enlist some more if you can... :P

PS: To avoid non-posting and post frequency issues, I've merged Good For Nothin' and Crapologists... Now GFN will have blended posts !!

PS2: This post can be taken as a space filler !