Guys, guys and girls ! (Now that the Women's Reservation Bill has been passed in the Rajya Sabha, I'm trying to get used to 33% reservation for women...)
It gives me a great pleasure announcing the news that "Good For Nothin..." is foraying into a new business... And that's film making.
Yes, we're entering the showbiz ! But, before we invest our hard earned money into this very risky business, I thought of having an opinion about the script of my first film from you !
Isn't that great??? I know it is...
I grew up watching the super awesome crime show CID ! And more recently, the film 3 Idiots left a huge impact on my small mind (you can even put it in your pocket...). So, I had a thought that both of these had to be in my first film.
A few days ago, I came across a script, on Facebook, from a guy who did not want to be named. I've told him to pop up and claim credit for the story at the time of the release of the film, just as Chetan Bhagat did, so that the movie can get some free publicity. So I made a few changes to the script. I'm posting the script here. Please leave your comments on it. Whether I should go with the script or the script sucks, you can say anything. Please feel free to give suggestions, if any...
And yes, I've designed a poster too...
Here it is...
Starring : ACP Pradyumn, Daya and Abhijeet in and as CID-iots (CID + 3 Idiots)
Supporting Cast : Fredericks, Dr. Salunkhe, Vivek, Chatur, Virus aka Viru Sahastrabuddhe, etc
Script : Unknown FB guy and Ankit B. Rathod
Music : talks on with Anu Malik and Preetam. We'll finalise the one who can give us the most 'inspired' music at the cheapest rates.
Director : Ankit B. Rathod
Producer : Good For Nothin....
And, here goes the script...
* * * * * * * * * * CID-iots Script - First Draft * * * * * * * * * *
After Rancho suddenly disappears from ICE, Raju and Farhan Decide to call the world famous CID.
ACP Pradyumn : OHH MY GODD !!! Rancho Gayab hai !! Abhijeet, Daya... Campus ko achhi tarah se CHECK KARO !! Woh zaroor koi na koi suraag chhod gaya hoga !! (Shaking his finger)
After searching the campus like a pair of buffoons, Abhijeet and Daya find out that Joy had committed suicide 4 years ago in the campus...
Abhijeet: Sir, Maamla gadbad hai...Yaha kisi Joy Lobo naam ke student ne aatma-hatya ki thi... 4 saal pehle... Lagta hai woh aatma-hatya nahi, khoon tha... Aur shayad khooni yeh Rancho hi hoga !!!
ACP: OHH MY GODD !!! Abhijeet, Daya... Ek kaam karo... Ye Joy ki kabar khod ke uski laash bahar nikaalo... Aur usey Forensic Lab mein leke aao... Dr. Salunkhe zaroor koi naa koi baat ugalva lenge is murde aadmi se !!
Fredericks does all the digging and brings out the dead body of Joy...
And the next scene is of the Forensic Lab...
Dr. Salunkhe: ACP, bahut jaldi laash le aaye tum... Is se kuch bulvaana mushkil hoga... Lekin tum tension mat lo... Tum Dr. Salunkhe ki lab se khaali haath wapas nahi jaaoge... Koi naa koi raaz to pata chal hi jayega...
After playing with some colour changing liquids...
Dr. Salunkhe: BOSS... Tum ne kaha is ki maut suicide se hui hai... Main kehta hoon is ka khoon hua hai !!
ACP: Salunkhe !!! Ye mazaak ka waqt nahi hai !!... Ye kaise ho sakta hai??
Salunkhe: BOSS... Sab kuch mumkin hai !! Ye dekho...
(shows him his star-trek type computer and does some really fast typing)
ACP: OHH MY GODD !! (still shaking his finger).... To phir yeh baat humein kisi ne batayi kyun nahi??? Ek kaam karo... Uss principal ko yahaan leke aao Bureau mein... Ab kya sach hai, wohi humein batayega !!
Virus is brought to the Bureau...
Virus: Sssir, mujhe yahaan kyun bulaya hai... Maine kuch nahi kiya...
Abhijeet: Sach sach batao... Us raat campus mein kya hua tha???
Virus: Ssssir, main sssach bol raha hoon... Mujhe kuch nahi pata hai??
Daya takes over and gives him a dose of his special world famous CHAMAAAT !!!
Daya: Ab yaad aaya kuch???
Virus: Haan Sir, sab yaad aa gaya... Batata hoon... Sab batata hoon !
Fredericks: (constipated look) Sir... Daya sir ke chamaat me toh jaadu hai... Is ka 'sssss' karna band ho gaya...
ACP: Fredericks... Chup raho !!
Virus: Uss raat sab logo ne Gay Party ki thi.... Sab log apni underwear mein campus mein ghoom rahe the.... Main bhi tha... Lekin mere saath koi flirt hi nahi kar raha tha... Isliye main bahut gusse mein tha... Phir Joy aaya aur usne mujhe uska helicopter dikhaya... Maine us ka helicopter dust bin mein fek diya.. To wo rote-rote apne room mein chala gaya... Aur next din hum ne dekha to uska murder ho gaya tha... Lekin aap please ye baat kisi se boliye mat... College ki badnaami ho jayegi...
ACP: Hum kisi ko nahi batayenge... Tum humare saath co-operate karo...
Virus leaves...
ACP: Yahaan kuch to gadbad hai Daya.... Aisa kaise ho sakta hai ki campus mein khoon ho gaya aur kisi ne CID ko bulaya hi nahi?? Apna publicity ka kharcha badha do....
Abhijeet: Sir, ye college mein padhe-likhe log hain... Shayad in logo ko pata hai ki pehle Police ko bulaana chahiye, CID ko nahi !!
ACP: Aur ye kaise hua ki khooni campus mein aa gaya.... Aur campus se khoon kar ke nikal bhi gaya??
Vivek : Sir, shayad ye bhi ho sakta hai ki khooni koi student hi ho?
ACP: Haan Vivek... Kuchh bhi ho sakta hai... Kuchh bhi... (shaking his finger)... Ek kaam karo Abhijeet... Phir se campus mein chalte hain... Aur achhi tarah se check karte hain... Yahaan daal mein zaroor kuchh kaala hai !!
Abhijeet: Sir, daal mein kaala nahi, poori daal mere jaisi kaali hi hai !!
They reach the campus in their old faithful Toyota Qualis which changes colour every episode... But the number plate is still the same... And Daya slams the breaks...
SCCRREEEECH !!
ACP: Abhijeet, Vivek tum poora campus CHECK KARO.... Daya ,tum is campus ke saare DARWAAZE TOD DO....!! Fredericks, tum sab logo ko tumhare jokes se entertain karo... Aur main yahaan baith ke apni ungli hilata hoon.... Chalo sab apne apne kaam pe lag jaao !!
After checking the campus...
Vivek: Sir, yahaan aaiye.... Ye dekho.... Ye ek Chatur Ramalingam naam ke ladke ki diary mili hai sir... Is mein likha hai ki wo aur Rancho ek doosre ke dushman the... Aur wo Rancho se badla lena chahta tha !!
ACP : (shaking finger...as usual)... OHH MY GODD !!! Ab ye Chatur kaun hai...?? Aur iske room se itni badbu kyun aa rahi hai...?? Good work Vivek...! Is evidence ko forensic lab le jao !
Abhijeet: Haaiinn !!! Sir, dheere dheere sab pata chal raha hai... Shayad is Chatur ne hi Joy ka khoon kiya hoga !! Aur Rancho kahaan gaya, ye bhi usey hi pata hoga !!
ACP: To bulao is Chatur ko Bureau mein... Is se hi pooch ke dekhte hain !!
Chatur in interrogation...
ACP: Rancho kahaan hai ??
Chatur : I Don't Know Sir !! Mujhe nahi pata !! Main us ke baare mein kuchh nahi jaanti....
Abhijeet: Dekho... Sach sach bataao !! Humein tumhari ye diary mili hai... Wo bhi tumhare room se... Ye diary to pehchante ho naa tum?? Is mein saaf saaf likha hai ki tumhe Rancho se jalan thi...
Chatur : (over-acting)... Ye diary meri hi hai... Mujhe nahi pata hai sir ye Rancho keedar hai !! Maine kuchh bhi nahi kiye hai... Please believe me sir... I'm innocent....
Daya gives ONE TIGHT SLAP and the chair spins...
Chatur: (crying with one hand on his cheek) Haan haan... Maine hi khoon kiya tha Joy ka... Kyunki us ne Mechanical Helicopter banaya tha project mein... Aur maine sirf paper ka rocket banaya tha.... *sob sob* Lekin phir woh Rancho aa gaye... Us ne mujhe dekh liye the... Isliye maine usko bhi gayab kar diya...
ACP: Waah... Kya plan banaya tha... Lekin afsos... Tum CID ke saamne kaamyaab nahi ho paaye... Ab banaate rehna plan... JAIL me... Tumhe to FAASI hogi FAASI !!
Dear Mr. Director & Producer ...
ReplyDeleteKindly do lemme know which genre your film belongs to.
Is it an Indo-American crossover film or a Bollywood film.
Because, If it is meant to be a Bollywood Blockbuster ... and you intend to make MONEY out of it (unless this film is your medium to stuff all your blackmoney & wipe it off as losses) ....
then you have forgotten ONE VITAL ingredient ...
a HEROINE & an Item Number !!!
If you can afford Kareena well & good ,
Otherwise any dumb female from CID will also do...
You could add a scene ...
where, when they go to find Chatur, he is actually enjoying in a dance bar, drinking stale rum & having his 'bangali baba ka churan' ....
so there could be the item song there ...
"kisko dhoonde teri nazar, dekh zara dekh kuch badboo hai idhar ...."
something like that ...
Just a suggestion, because "intelligent hindi cinema" does not get commercial success ...
& your film is one of the MOST intelligent scripts in a looooong time !
@ dr suraj -
ReplyDeletewow !! thanks a million for ur valuable suggestions...
oh yes, i missed a heroine... i dont think i can afford kareena... unless she lowers her rates...
we can hav sum1 from 'Rahul ka Swayamvar' as the heroine.... we can afford them.... ;)
n i'll definitely add the bar scene.... with our very own rakhi sawant dancing to the tunes of the song that u mentioned...
i'm planning to make dis film in hollywood, just like slumdog millionaire, wid desi cast n crew.... our CID needs to go places... isnt it??? n i guess, the actors will work for a lower rates for a hollywood flick.... thus lowering our budget ;)
@ dr suraj -
ReplyDeletei'll update the script in sometime... watch dis space for more updates....
PS : i'd like to buy the rights for the lyrics of that item song...
@Ankit--
ReplyDeletenice story dude...
mind-blowing.....
gud-work......
gr8 creativity......
extra ord. mind....
really maja aa gaya.......
@ rohit -
ReplyDeletethanks buddy.... itni tareef mat kar.... picture abhi baaki hai mere dost !
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete@ankit-amazng ne..as always vry diff frm evrythng....n its js 2 gd...keep wrtng..n mke ur blog proud...srsli great wrk...
ReplyDelete@ shruti -
ReplyDeletethnks for the comment... i'm glad dat u liked it... ;)
Very original even if some one claims the credit for the original story.
ReplyDeleteI would not go near this, please.
@ B K Chowla sir -
ReplyDeletethanks :)
wow nice scrpit...! very well thought and planned! bet it must have taken more than ten years of your life to write such an intelligent and 'original' script! nevertheless we all are dying to see it turn into a movie. but hey add a bit more action scenes between daya and chatur or acp and virus, u know just to add the flavor...the rest is cool! good luck!
ReplyDelete@ tipu -
ReplyDeletethanks a lot :) but i'm not gonna do wat Raju Hirani did... its not MY story... its an adapted version of sum1 else's story... i'll definitely try n add a few more scenes... thanks for ur valuable suggestions... keep visiting :)
bhargavi ; haahaaaahaaaahaaaajaaajaaaahaaaaaaahaaaa cid haaahaaaahaaaahaaa ajaaaa
ReplyDelete@ anonymous -
ReplyDeletealthough i didnt understand ur comment, i guess dat u're overjoyed after reading this script... :) khushi chhipaaye nahi chhip rahi hai... lol... keep reading n keep commenting :p
Very super script by you.
ReplyDeleteThis needs great creativity.
PLEASE PLEASE if you make any other story like this do no forget to mail me -
bparth4567@gmail.com
Thanx for entertainment.
-Parth Bhandakkar
@ parth -
ReplyDeletethanks a lot !! :)
whoever made this cheap stuff is a psycho and lives in his own dreamworld and makes things up which he beleives everybody will read it, but nobody has time to read such garbage material.
ReplyDeletewe all love the original cid serial.
By lookin at the 3idiots poster above which is so poorly edited, clearly states that this dumbhead doesnt even knows how to use photoshop.
...Go find some job or sumthing & dont daydream by making things up on ur pc.
@ anonymous -
ReplyDeletei know u might be thinking that i wont approve ur comment... but NO... i moderate comments just for the sake of avoiding abusive language... negative comments are more than welcome...
THANK YOU for loving CID... i never said i hate CID... i just posted dis keeping in mind the 'quality' of ur much loved serial CID !!
THANK YOU for using words like 'dumbhead', 'psycho', 'garbage' and 'cheap', using these words clearly shows what ur brain contains... ;)
I'd loved it if u had posted this very SPECIAL comment with your own name instead of posting it ANONYMOUSLY... but it looks like u urself are scared of making ur love for CID public ;)
PS : don't take anything personally.. i'm just replying to what u said.. no hard feelings !
PS2 : PLEASE read other stuff on the blog and COMMENT if possible.. i'd be glad !
hey nice one..............i had a blast reading ur story.............i m a big fan of cid ond three idiots............
ReplyDeletetoo good.........
@ neha -
ReplyDeletethanks... keep visiting :)
gr8 wrk.I am a great fan of cid and like all the characters and you really gave them a new look , though a funny one.but thanks alot
ReplyDelete@ anon -
ReplyDeletethanks :)
are bhai kitna hansaoge
ReplyDeleteTo cool script.....
ise to live tv pe dikhana chahiye...
@ anant -
ReplyDeletethanks for liking it so much ;) actually CID now falls under "comedy" category... and we've just tried to maintain the same standards :P
Anant lovey story dude.
ReplyDeleteComedIDiots = CID-IOTS
@ razor -
ReplyDeletethanks ;) and another nice interpretation for CID.... ComedIDiots ;)
very nice story. please report me if you will write another great story. mail me at:-
ReplyDeleteamitvarakhedkar@gmail.com
nice story,but too short.Elaborate it The poster is not good It should be like inspiring and attractive and not a comedy one okkkk.Remove that dialogue- Vivek campus chhaan maro Daya darwaza tod do and all that. Include Dr. Tarika as well. That idea of yours about heroine is not good and no Rakhi Sawant please. The qualities of the officers should be highlighted and if needed take help from B.P. Singh. AND REMEMBER EVEN AFTER 13 YEARS CID CONTINUES TO INSPIRE MANY AND I AM AMONG THEM. All the best
ReplyDeletehave you gone mad it is a mere insult of the officers.your film will flop & there is nothing sooooo speical. CID has solved many cases & do you really think the officers will work for you continu dreaming.
ReplyDeletegud one....i felt as if i am watching a telecast of the show...well done..all the best & waiting 4 more stuff lyk this
ReplyDeletenice!!!!!!!!!!!!! i just felt that iam watching it in the tv.
ReplyDeletei just love wathing cid. so i liked it.
ReplyDeletei like it !
ReplyDeleteI LICKED IT VERY MUCH...
ReplyDeleteSo good man
ReplyDelete@ ankit - please remove the gay part from the story to make it family entertainer.
ReplyDeleteBut the script was hilarious for sure
ReplyDeletegood story but after Chatur agree that he commited the crime where has Rancho gone. In the story Chatur agreed that he only vanished Rancho but at the end where is Rancho.
ReplyDeletenice i like it.......
ReplyDeletenice.. very interesting story, i like it..
ReplyDelete