Heart versus Brain

Current Timeline: 11th June, 2010. 4:30 am.


Location: Home. on my bed, trying to sleep...

This post needs us to go a li'l back in time...

FLASHBACK !

Timeline: 10th June, 2010. 1:45 pm.

Location: Bandra Terminus. Suryanagari Exp. Coach S8. Seat No 53.

That's where I was seated. Fifteen minutes have been passed since the scheduled departure time. And the train just started to move. The compartment I was in, was relatively empty, with just me and a 15-16 year old boy.

Within a few minutes, a couple, around 23-25 years of age, entered the compartment. It seemed that they were married just a few months ago. No husband talks so sweetly to his wife after a couple of years of marriage. ;) Jokes apart, both of them looked so much in love that they weren't even bothered about who else were there in the train.

Although I don't take much intrest in my co-passengers, I couldn't resist myself looking at the way each was caring for the other. As I had to alight at 3:15 in the morning, I thought it'd be better to rest for sometime. I rarely sleep in the train, so I got on the upper berth to give my body some rest.

After getting settled on the berth, my mind started to think about some random things. And as it is said, "Khaali dimaag shaitaan ka ghar", my thoughts were now getting focussed on issues related to heart. It seemed as if my heart has taken over my brain.

And I started to think about love. The questions that popped up in my mind included:

- Do I love someone?

- If yes, why?

- If no, what am I still waiting for?

- Am I forcing myself to fall in love or NOT fall in love with someone?

- If no, am I "GAY"???

While figuring out the answers to the endless questions raised by my heart, my brain almost stopped working. Although being numb-brained, I could very well answer the last question, and fortunately the answer was a big "NO". And before I could gather the answers for the earlier questions, there were a few more ready to be answered:

- Who's that one girl that means the most to me?

- Who's that one girl for whom I can fight with the world?

- Who's that one girl whose one smile wipes off all the sorrows and brings a smile on my face?

- Who's that one girl with whom I can be just "ME"??

- Who's that one girl whom I care about a lot?

Now I was going crazy, almost pulling my hair. Fortunately, I had shifted to upper berth and no one could see me doing that ;) I almost shouted "STOP !". The chai-wallah stopped and asked me if I wanted a cup of tea. Though the order to stop was meant for my brain (or my heart that overcame my brain), I shouted so loud that it was audible almost two compartments away. I apologised to the chai-wallah and asked him to go.

But the heart and the brain continued to think over an unnecessary topic. I was helpless ! And then I started to think about all my female friends in regard to the 'love' da maamla. After going through all the options, I couldn't find anyone for whom I could say "Haan, yehi to hai wo !!"

And then out of nowhere, a girl came to my mind. She was the one for whom all the conditions stated above were true. She was the one !! My heart said instantly, "Haan, yehi to hai wo !!" By that time, my brain had started to regain its senses, and now it started to raise its questions:

- She's your friend. How can she be "THE ONE"?

- How can you think of her like this?

And I was torn between the heart and the brain. This stupid fight between the two just made me realise that I liked... err... I mean I loved someone and I was unaware of it. I was having an unexplainable feeling. Falling in love can never be expressed in words, and I was experiencing it. I had decided that as soon as I meet this girl, I am going to confess my feelings for her. I was elated to have discovered my love ! I was smiling endlessly...

Suddenly, I felt someone calling me and shaking my body. It was my co-passenger actually waking me up. REASON: I was smiling too loud, and he was suspicious of what I was doing ! So it was all a dream. Phew ! Kitna kuchh soch liya tha maine... ;)

Although it was a dream, it was beautiful enough to make me smile till I reached home and collapsed onto my bed. But sleep was no where near me. And I think I should rest this post to an end. Shaayad ab neend aa jaaye.

Waiting for another beautiful dream, I conclude this post !